Laura Lifshitz from YourTango is here to share some traits that women find attractive in men.
When it comes to finding love that lasts, these guys win every time.
Lots of guys ask questions like, "Why do girls like bad boys?", wondering what it is women find even remotely attractive about men who end up hurting them. But if you really want to know how to get a girl to like you, the last place you should look for inspiration about what women find attractive are those rebels without a clue. And women, you should be paying no attention at all to those bad boys. They'll only leave you high and dry, and they're really no fun, save for — maybe — a few bedroom romps.
Honestly, if you're over 21, you probably already know how quickly these kinds of guys lose their appeal. They've got a clear expiration date. They're cute when they're young, but as a girl matures into a woman, her patience for them disappears. And while the saying that "Good men are hard to find" may be popular for good reason, the good news is that at least they aren't impossible to find. They do exist! And when we ladies finally figure out how to find a good man, there are so many things about that person that we love that we cannot help but overlook the small things he might do to upset us.
Truly, when you break it down, bad guys are "boys," but good guys are "men." Would you rather play with a boy — or run with a man? So guys, here are the dominant personality traits grown women find most attractive and utterly irresistible about a good man that make bad boys look like little babies. (After all, ladies, if you want to find a good man, you need to know what you're looking for and why these men are so much better than that "bad boy" who's been stringing you along.)
No, we're not helpless, but I love a man who can fix things. And yes, I'm still a feminist, but I'm smart enough to know what I do well and what I don't. And many women love a man who not only can fix things but who also want to fix things for us. Not because he thinks we're helpless but because he wants to help and make things better for the woman he loves.
2. Generous (Especially With Massages)
A good man will always massage his partner. Of course, she should return the favor, but a man who is willing to get his hands oily and sore is a great man. Women tend to take on too much, and therefore, all that tension lives in our bodies. We are just waiting for the right man to "knead it out."
There's no denying the utter sex appeal a man gives off when he comes to your side during a crisis. A man who shows up for you and is present in your life when things are messy and dirty is a damn good man. The guy that shows up when your car breaks down. The guy that holds you when your dog dies and you're a mess. The guy that feeds you soup when you're sick. This is attractive. This is a man who is unselfish and giving. We women love it. Bad boys will never be there. They will have excuses.
If he is honest with you about who he is, what his flaws are, and in return is honest with you about your flaws and doesn't hold back from you, he's a good guy. And it's sexy.
Now, I don't mind harsh criticism. I'm talking about a man who is honest and expects you to be your best self. Who knows when you're not giving it your all and will call you out on it. A good man is confident and able to stand tall next to you, even if he's short. He owns who he is and expects you to as well.
Look, not every guy can be "Mr. Romantic." And that's OK. But all good men try to be romantic as best as they can be. For one guy, this may be taking you on a walk. For another guy, it's a bubble bath and massage. For another, it's just telling you you look pretty today. Good men, though? They make the effort. Bad boys don't. They're selfish and don't care about setting the stage for anything other than things that please their own interests.
The good man you find adorable and endearing? You found him such because he committed to you. Willingly. There were no games or high jinks. You didn't have to beg. He wanted you and went for you. We love when you want us in return. What women find attractive is men who commit fully and truly.
A bad boy will never commit. It infringes on his freedom. His needs. His wants. He has no interest in compromising for anyone. That is why the good man is so hot. He will meet you halfway — and then some.
It's so attractive when a man listens. When he listens and brings chocolate? Even better. Good men listen. They will offer advice unless you ask them not to, but they will always listen. They will make the time.
Bad boys have excuses. Reasons for not bothering to hear you out. And really, did you expect him to anyway? No. But good men are sexy because they're also our friends. We trust them. Trust is so crucial to making a woman happy.
Don't you love when a man makes a point of telling you all the things he loves about you? How he'll forgive you for your bad traits and always find you beautiful? How his love for you deepens as he knows you, and not the other way around? His shallow compliments aren't shallow. He finds you beautiful as a person and makes you feel that way. Good men are powerful like that. Their belief and love for you is intoxicating. The lust of a "bad boy" cannot compare to the man who loves you more by the day.
You're not perfect. A bad boy will drop you for the next catch, the next woman he deems "perfect." Good guys forgive you for your flaws and when fights happen, as they always do, he forgives you, lets it go, and moves on. You never feel threatened or afraid he will leave or hold it over your head. Good men don't do that. They don't make threats. They don't hold your "mistakes" over your head. They let it go unless they're really serious insults that you should be accountable for.
Laura Lifshitz is a former MTV personality and Columbia University graduate who writes about divorce, love, women's issues, fitness, parenting, marriage, and more for YourTango, The New York Times, Women's Health, Working Mother, POPSUGAR, and more.
Check out more great stories from YourTango:
- If He Has These 10 Meaningful Traits, He's A Real Man You Can Count On
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- Men With These 10 Personality Traits Make The Best Boyfriends