How to Use a Vibrator to Get the Best Orgasms of Your Life

Sex toys may be exciting to explore, but they're not always intuitive to use — especially if you're not sure what you like or which features best suit your needs. This is mainly because vibrators are so versatile. While there are a ton of vibrator options for all genders and some vibrator options for couples to use together, they come in different styles. Some vibrators provide internal stimulation, some provide external stimulation, some offer both, and some even simulate oral sex.

With so many sex-toy options out there, finding your right match can be an overwhelming (but satisfying) process of trial and error. If you're feeling nervous — perhaps you struggle to orgasm, you aren't sure how to introduce a sex toy to your partner, or you struggle with shame during or after masturbation — it's helpful to think of a vibrator less as a sex toy and more as a tool that will enhance your sex life.

"When you think of the vibrator as competition, you will lose every single time, so make it your friend and [think of it as] a tool that benefits both you and your lover," says sexologist Marla Renee Stewart, MA, sexpert for Lovers.

Tools are there to help you, make things easier, and aid your body's natural capabilities. You wouldn't feel embarrassed using a hammer and nails to put up a shelf, so give yourself the same grace when it comes to sex. This is especially true for disabled people or anyone with limited mobility; think about vibrators as assistive technology.

Together, we'll break down how to use a vibrator, the different types there are, and how to use vibrators safely.

A vibrator is a type of sex toy — or tool — used to stimulate the body, erogenous zones, and genitals for sexual pleasure. It does exactly what it sounds like: it vibrates in a similar way to a muscle or head massager.

"Vibrators can add to your sex life because they allow you to embrace your pleasure in various ways," Stewart says. "They are there to help aid you in orgasm if you're having difficulty or add to your sex life by extending the foreplay."

Most vibrators come with a number of settings and patterns so you can customize the intensity and rhythm of the vibrations. There are a ton of different vibrators out there (more on that in a bit), but you should consider not just what style of stimulation you might enjoy but also how it will fit into your sex life.

Start by asking yourself some foundational questions: Where do you like to masturbate? Do you want to use this toy for solo, partnered sex, or both? What kind of design or color makes you feel sexy or gender affirmed? Do you plan to submerge your toy or get it wet (like in a bathtub or shower)? Do you need a toy that is quiet, discreet, or travel friendly due to your lifestyle?

When you've settled on some answers, look for toys that have features to meet your needs. There are waterproof toys, toys that come with a travel lock (so they don't randomly go off in your suitcase or bag), gender-neutral toys, and vibrators perfect for partners (including toys for lesbian and gay couples). You'll be able to find most of these features in a vibrator and match it with the design style that most suits you.

There's no right or wrong way to use a vibrator — you can use them on your genitalia, on your body, during foreplay, or to experience orgasm. But there are a few safety precautions you should consider.

You should clean your toys before and after every use. A cloth with gentle soap and water is usually fine, but you should follow the care instructions included with your toy. For an in-depth explainer on cleaning your sex toy, read POPSUGAR's guide here.

If you're playing with a partner, practicing safe sex and not fluid swapping is recommended. Stewart recommends using a condom on the vibrator if you are sharing the same toy. Change out the condom when switching between partners, or clean the toy "between peoples and holes," Stewart says. That means if you want to use a vibrator on the vulva, penis, or anus, you need to clean the toy or swap out condoms between the genitalia.

You should also be aware of what lubricants are compatible with your toy. It depends on what material your vibrator is made of, and the packaging will include specific information on how to care for it. As a brief refresher, though, silicone toys are not compatible with silicone lube, as this combination can deteriorate your toy's surface. And if you're using a condom, you should use water-based lubricant, since oil-based lubes can cause the condom to break. For a full explainer on lubricant, how to use it, and the types out there, read POPSUGAR's lube guide.

Lastly, as a general safety note, you should not move sex toys from the anus to the vagina without washing the toys first. Otherwise, you could be putting yourself at risk of infection.