"For some reason, I was trying to portray myself as a man who had [had sex] many times in the past. I didn't tell the girl I was a virgin. I was all, 'Don't worry, babe. I'm gonna handle it tonight.' And meanwhile I was shaking in my boots. . . . I remember putting a pillow underneath her because I had seen that in a porn movie . . . [it] put her at a weird angle, where I couldn't get in correctly. I'm not extremely well-endowed . . . and clearly this wasn't the move."