"Well hello there, doesn't he look like a sophistic — wait, is that a Jansport? The leather jacket and purple backpack combo is throwing me off, but maybe I could get used to this. Mornings reading Hemingway followed by afternoons drinking like Hemingway. Nights at the museum, followed by later nights on the dancefloor. Contradictions haven't looked this good since Billy Ray Cyrus' hair. #AchyBreakyMyBed"