Goals For the Newly Divorced Woman in Her 30s

POPSUGAR Photography / Sisilia Piring
POPSUGAR Photography | Sisilia Piring

So this is it. You're divorced and in your 30s. Well, welcome to the club! There are many of us in this club, so don't feel bad. Instead use your divorce to spin off an improved you (you don't need a new you — the old you is lovely — you just need some touch-ups) for an amazing 2017. This way, you can kiss your divorce blues buh-bye and make it a stellar year.

01
Ask For the Raise You Deserve
POPSUGAR Photography | Mark Popovich

Ask For the Raise You Deserve

You’re most likely a working lady and now that you have had some time to prove yourself in your career yet still have room to grow, ask that boss for the raise you’ve always wanted. Seize the day and time now that you’re single to show your boss what you’ve got and ask them to put their money where their mouth is!

02
Take Up a Hobby
POPSUGAR Photography | Maria Del Rio

Take Up a Hobby

Are you divorced, in your 30s, and a mommy? Then you need to take up a hobby or activity. Something you can do simply for you and no one else. Is it yoga? Perhaps painting or knitting? Maybe it’s trimming bonsai trees! Whatever it is, do something that makes you happy — and not because it benefits your kids. This is something to remind you about what makes you happy. As moms we often push ourselves to the side, but I am demanding that you put yourself first for a bit and find a hobby!

03
Mentor Someone
POPSUGAR Photography | Matthew Barnes

Mentor Someone

You’re in your 30s, which means you’re wise enough to know better, confident to be OK making mistakes and asking for help, and young enough to still be hip. Mentor a younger woman, whether it’s professionally or personally. This will not only empower you and make you feel good, but it will also help someone else out and assist in the healing process after divorce. It’s not unusual to feel out of focus after divorce. Helping others will help you get back that steering wheel to take your life in a new direction.

04
Date For Fun
POPSUGAR Photography | THEM TOO

Date For Fun

Date only for fun. Date only for someone to see a movie with or share an adventure with. Don’t date to find the one. At least for a period of time. Get out there simply to enjoy someone’s company without the burden or pressure of wondering where it is going to go. If you do this first, you are bound to end up meeting the right person once you are finally ready and in a good place.

05
Take More Deep Breaths
POPSUGAR Photography | Kat Borchart

Take More Deep Breaths

Women who divorce in their 30s without children and who want children may start to panic that their time is done. I understand the concern but I’m saying for now: practice deep breathing. You can’t control finding the right man (you can control avoiding the wrong man) or when you may or may not get pregnant. While I wish you all the luck in finding the right one and having the babies of your dreams, I tell you now to practice deep breathing. Recognizing that you cannot control everything and can simply do your best on things you can control is an essential life lesson. Going through a divorce can unnerve you. Meditation, deep breathing, and stretching can give you peace of mind when your heart is hurting and your head is throbbing with anxiety.

06
Master Something
POPSUGAR Photography | Matthew Barnes

Master Something

This is the time to get a master’s degree, whether it’s to boost your career, get a raise, or learn something new. Even better? Ask your company if they reimburse for college courses and if you can, prove how it’s related and necessary for your field, making a raise or reimbursement hard to turn down!

07
Do Something Sexy
POPSUGAR Photography | Benjamin Stone

Do Something Sexy

Always wanted a boudoir photo? Always wanted a one-night stand or perhaps an affair with a foreign stranger (safe sex please)? Do it! Do something that makes you feel in touch with your body and sensuality as a woman. Thirties hormones can have you all over the place or ready and rearing to go! Enjoy this time in your life when you’re more confident than you were in your 20s. And think like a man: enjoy sex for sex’s sake and nothing else. You deserve to have fun.

08
Join a Support Group
POPSUGAR Photography | Matthew Barnes

Join a Support Group

You’re not alone so don’t isolate yourself. Join a support group and dish with other divorcees about their experience. You’ll make friends and have newly single buddies to go out with. This is a win-win situation!

Divorce is not the end of the world and you, my friend, will blare your song nice and strong once again! Take the turn of the calendar as a sign to start over fresh and leave the past in the past.