Drug or alcohol addiction can take a toll on relationships. It's not only dangerous to the person using, but it can also weigh heavily on the person who loves and cares for them. You might want to help, but it's important to understand that they have to want to make a change — and you can't force them to do that.
"Do not place blame on yourself for a partner's substance-use challenges," Dr. Mendez says. "It is important for the person considering leaving the relationship to do so in the best interest of their own well-being. Relationships existing within a world of substance use suffer fragility and conflict and can be compounded by other issues, such as verbal, physical, or emotional abuse."
If you're in this situation, you may find yourself concerned about perpetuating your partner's behavior if you leave. That's something that Dr. Mendez advises communicating with your partner about. She suggests approaching the conversation in a nonjudgmental manner and perhaps suggesting that the two of you seek help together. However, she notes, if your partner reacts negatively to this conversation, you don't want to push.
"The decision for treatment can only be made by the person using the substances," she says.
