6 Real Excuses to Talk About Sex With Your Friends More Often
Not everyone gets to gossip over their most recent hookup à la Sex and the City with a designer bag in one hand and a cosmo in the other. But even without such luxuries, it's important to talk to your friends about sex. In fact, research shows that openly communicating about personal topics like these can actually bring you closer to the people around you, in addition to providing opportunities for validation and, frankly, fun. But with that being said, many people are still taught that sex is something that should be kept private, making conversations like these seem intimidating or a little awkward, even amongst close friends.
Thankfully, short of breaking out into a terribly out-of-tune rendition of "Let's Talk About Sex," there's no wrong way to go about these discussions, as long as they're positive, open, and empowering. Plus, sometimes it's just nice to be able to say what you don't really feel comfortable voicing to anyone else. Whether you're terrified of oversharing, looking for people to talk to, or just in need of some sex-positive conversations, here are six benefits to talking about sex that will make you want to text the group chat ASAP. Cosmos all around!
It Normalizes Casual Sex
Talking about sex is great way to strip away any negative stigma that may be affecting the way you perceive yourself or your sexual choices. If you feel yourself experiencing social shame, guilt, or uneasiness, confiding in friends can be a great way to combat societal taboos and misconceptions about casual sex. It can be an empowering experience, or it can help you identify relationships that aren't actually making you happy.
It Provides Reassurance
The pressure to be "good in bed" is everywhere, and it can create a lot of stress. According to Susan Coots, a Professor of Human Sexuality at Syracuse University, "So much information about sex comes from unrealistic sources, like porn, that it's normalizing and reassuring for people to know that what they do or like is normal," she told POPSUGAR. Everyone is different, and having friends to talk to, or even relate to you, can feel like a huge weight off your shoulders.
It Helps You Stay Safe
Good friends care about you, and if you're talking to your friends about sex, they can help you identify situations that might not be entirely safe or consensual. Sex should always be a comfortable, enjoyable experience, but if it's not, discussing it with your friends can offer you the validation you need to reject relationships that aren't healthy.
It Can Bring You Closer
As Professor Coots explains, because sex is such a personal subject, sharing this information with others has actually been proven to bring people closer and help them bond with one another. An additional plus: "Sex stories can be very funny, and sharing a good laugh is great for friendships," she said. So, although everyone can choose just how much to disclose about themselves, talking about personal experiences with people you trust is healthier than you might have thought.
It Can Teach You New Things
It's impossible to try it all, and everyone is different when it comes to their personal sexual preferences, but a recommendation from a person you trust can lead to more enjoyable sex. In fact, studies show that only 62 percent of women in partnered relationships feel satisfied with the orgasms they have during sex. To improve these numbers, ask your friends for their suggestions, share some of your own, and work your way towards better sex.
It Can Make You Feel Good About Yourself
Every single day, women are confronted with a whole host of different messages about what they need to look and act like, and sex is no different. Of course, these unrealistic expectations can cause a tremendous amount of stress and make women feel like they aren't "normal." Talking with your friends about these anxieties can help you realize that a lot of your greatest fears can be attributed to completely natural functions. In addition to the information your friends can provide, Professor Coots says that many sexual health organizations have peer educators that can answer your more complicated questions. Whoever you turn to, being able to talk to someone can help improve your personal well-being as well as your sex life. Isn't that what friends are for?