Two weeks after I posted this a year ago, we experienced our first loss. I hadn’t known I was pregnant, but I have...Posted by At Home with Joanna on Tuesday, February 5, 2019
Joanna Ahti, a mom of two from Montreal, recently penned an open letter about how her beloved cat Pippit helped her through a difficult time in her life. Reflecting on a post she wrote a year ago, Joanna explained how her four-legged friend may have known she was pregnant before she did in an emotional Facebook post about having a miscarriage. In her original post, Joanna said she initially thought Pippit was giving her some extra cuddles because she was crying during a sad episode of This Is Us. Fast-forward to a year later, and she learned the real reason.
"Two weeks after I posted this a year ago, we experienced our first loss," wrote Joanna. "I hadn't known I was pregnant, but I have photos of Pippit hugging me like this as I slept while I was pregnant with Liam. I was emotional, exhausted, and couldn't help but fall asleep when I least expected to."
"I often wonder how it was possible that I hadn't known I was carrying our second child."
For Joanna, looking back at the photo is surreal. "I look back at this now, and it's hard to swallow," she said. "I often wonder how it was possible that I hadn't known I was carrying our second child. I was four months pregnant and I had no idea. People often make fun of women who don't realize they are pregnant, but as someone who has experienced it firsthand, let me tell you how possible it truly is."
Despite not knowing she was pregnant, having a miscarriage was still a devastating experience. "I was still breastfeeding Liam, which made my cycle irregular and impossible to track," she said. "I had no symptoms. Nothing felt any different. I had no idea. 'She must have known she was pregnant.' No. If you ever believe that someone wants to find out they were having a baby in the exact same moment they give birth at home and lose their child, think again."
Now, Joanna wants to remind other moms to go easy on themselves, and that a little compassion can go a long way.
"It has now almost been a year, and instead of making myself feel guilty for not knowing, or beating myself up, I will read my own words back to me," she said. "I think many of us try to show how strong we are all of the time and we forget that we too, are human. Feel. Be human. Never let anyone, (including yourself), make you feel stupid or diminished just because their experience is different from yours."