You Should Absolutely Never Go to Disneyland — Here Are 21 Reasons
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Disneyland is not at all what you think, trust us. Here are 21 reasons you really shouldn't go. You've been warned . . .
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The mint juleps taste way too good.
You'll be depressed by the taste of all other juleps.
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Your neck will hurt from constantly looking up at all the grand attractions.
Geez, can there not be so many architectural wonders?
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There are balloons everywhere.
What's with all the pretty balloons? Like, WTF.
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The park is always springing surprises on you.
Sometimes you might not feel like being surprised with confetti and joy.
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There are too many photo opportunities.
Your phone will run out of storage within, like, five minutes. Great.
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Everyone who enters is happy ALL THE TIME.
Why?! Why is there so much positivity and happiness?
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The mouse ear choices are so cute it might make you sick.
Like, how the freak are you supposed to choose just one? Not possible.
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The It's a Small World ride will make you feel like a giant.
The world will feel, like, so big.
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The weather almost never changes — it's basically nice all the time.
Can we get some storms every once in a while?
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There are so many rides to go on.
Sometimes all the options can really stress a person out. Pair that with the joy and everyone is doomed.
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There's a statue of Walt Disney that will make you cry.
Curse you, Disney, why make us cry?!
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Apparently the place is haunted . . .
Yikes.
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You have to go to a whole other place called California Adventure too.
So much work.
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You always feel obligated to go on the roller coasters.
Because people say they're incredibly fun and stuff so you have to be polite, of course.
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The Dole Whips are chronically addicting.
It's a problem; there should probably be Dole Whips Anonymous meetings.
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There are too many frozen treats to choose from.
Choices, gah, too many choices.
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The rides will cause uncontrollable screams of bliss and an intense adrenaline rush.
Can you handle losing control? Not everyone can.
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Parades are happening, like, all the time.
If you don't like cheerful parades, you have been warned.
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At night there's all these crazy colorful lights everywhere.
I suggest sunglasses.
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You will start to fall under the false notion that magic actually exists.
Seriously, being at Disneyland makes you delusional. You feel like anything is possible.