Perhaps it's because there is no real censorship, or maybe it's out of pure boredom, but people really let it all out on Twitter. From updates regarding day-to-day activities to gripes about celebrities with punchable faces, Twitter is an outlet where users really let loose — and luckily for us, it can often be hilarious! To celebrate the social network's recent ninth birthday, we've rounded up some of the absolute funniest Twitter moments that, let's be honest, you've probably already retweeted.
Source: YouTube user JimmyKimmelLive
if your grave doesnt say "rest in peace" on it you are automatically drafted into the skeleton war— wint (@dril) July 28, 2013
HEY IT'S ME your facebook friend from high school who never left our hometown & thinks Olive Garden is fancy. Anyway here's a racist article
— Kevin Farzad (@KevinFarzad) December 8, 2014
it must have sucked for those 100 dudes in beauty and the beast who got turned into forks like did they have families
— Sarah Beattie (@nachosarah) March 1, 2015
A fall afternoon. Farmer's market. Drake is apple picking and stumbles across a bruised apple. "Who did this to you?", he whispers.
— Things Drake Do (@ThingsDrakeDo) March 16, 2015
Today's look: A terrible, insatiable existential hunger, plus my new favorite boots.
— KimKierkegaardashian (@KimKierkegaard) March 13, 2015
I don't need femims because I LOVE taking care of my home!! Femisists REFUSE to live in homes, they all sleep in hollowed out tree stumps
— WomanAgainstFeminism (@NoToFeminism) February 22, 2015
My Instagram vs. my twitter pic.twitter.com/9hZXwDcVfj
— eugénie (@feralcreature) October 24, 2014
i like to push my body to the limit but not in the healthy living way more like in the how much pasta can i eat before i cant move way
— tina (@tinatbh) March 18, 2015
is there anything more capitalist than a peanut with a top hat, cane, and monocle selling you other peanuts to eat
— Cohen is a ghost (@skullmandible) August 29, 2013
Isn't every show pretty much a Walking Dead prequel?
— Kumail Nanjiani (@kumailn) March 11, 2015
If you live to be 100, you should make up some fake reason why, just to fuck with people... like claim you ate a pinecone every single day.
— Guy Endore-Kaiser (@GuyEndoreKaiser) November 19, 2012
How dare you. He worked hard for that degree. pic.twitter.com/mHglLqZTRv
— You had one job (@_youhadonejob) March 9, 2015
Just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream.
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) September 4, 2011
It's cute how I used to think this "barely-holding-it-together" feeling was temporary.
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) February 17, 2015
How much for the horse tornado? Sir, that's a carousel. I must have it.
— Dan who tweets (@letdogsdrive) February 27, 2013
A Little Girl Just Asked Me If I Was Willow Smith I Humbly Said Yes And Took A Selfie.
— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) February 25, 2015
you think being catcalled is offensive? wait until you get honked at by a guy on a segway
— marissa a. ross (@MarissaARoss) June 10, 2014
"You CAN even." - white girl life coach
— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) March 19, 2014
It perfectly symbolizes the human race that it begins every new year by dropping the ball.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) January 1, 2015
Damn girl are you a pizza at a Chinese buffet because I'm not feeling it right now but I see you over there doing you and I respect that.
— tony logan (@tnylgn) October 7, 2013
*hugs girlfriend, gets on 1 knee* honey, would you *points up, fireworks spell out "LIKE A FREE IPAD?" she looks down& i'm holding a survey*
— LeVar Burzum (@drugleaf) February 18, 2012
Leaving my browser history open in case anyone in this coffee shop tries to steal my laptop when I'm in the bathroom. pic.twitter.com/IOo89Vypy7
— Chelsea Lockwood (@Chelsea_Elle) March 16, 2014
Ways I'm like a tea kettle: 1) need water 2) start screaming when someone forgets abt me 3) could burn down a house but probably never will
— Kevin Farzad (@KevinFarzad) January 2, 2015
I like to imagine Supreme Court is just like regular court but with tomatoes and sour cream.
— Witchy Woman (@dreamthievin) January 30, 2012
hello 9-1-1? my girlfriend's been kidnapped "stay calm sir, what's ur girlfriend's name" oh she goes to another school u wouldn't know her
— chuuch (@ch000ch) March 4, 2015
if diamonds are a girl's best friend does that mean my ex is going to sleep with them too
— Sarah Beattie (@nachosarah) November 8, 2014
waiter, there's a reflection of a sad and lonely man in my soup
— Dave Ditell sucks!! (@davedittell) March 11, 2014
"I'm excited for the continental breakfast" *sees a buffet just full of ice cubes* "What the..." Sign: Today's Continent is Antartica
— ♡ Brian Essbe ♡ (@SortaBad) March 15, 2015
Teens, let's "puff puff pass" our midterms instead.
— Cool Youth Pastor (@Muddin4Jesus) March 16, 2015
Battery's low. Drake plugs in his iPhone & it asks "Trust this computer?" He takes a moment and sighs "I don't know who to trust anymore."
— Things Drake Do (@ThingsDrakeDo) March 16, 2015