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The Bachelor Season 18 Quotes

Who Needs School When You Have Bachelor Logic?

We've had our moments of disappointment during Juan Pablo's season of The Bachelor, but if there's one area the show never fails to entertain us with, it's the hilarious quotes. Whether they're meant to be funny or not, the ladies and Juan Pablo have kept us chuckling this season with their words of "wisdom" on a variety of subjects. With the finale tonight, let's learn a little bit about what it means to have Bachelor smarts with the best and worst quotes of the season.

On Culture and Geography

"Korea has its beauty but [Vietnam] is like, nature. It's water, it's trees, it's the sun." — Clare

"There's just rows and rows of produce and vegetables and lemongrass and mint and basil and all sorts of yummy stuff. I've never seen anything like this, really. It's a big community, and they all work together, and I was telling the girls we should have this back in America." — Cassandra on farms

"Korea?! I don't even have a kimono!" — Clare on traditional Japanese clothing

"Today we're going to do really traditional Vietnamese . . . things." — Juan Pablo

On the Concept of The Bachelor

"It feels like you're a meat and they wanna eat you." — Juan Pablo

"It's weird kissing somebody that you know is kissing other people." — Clare

On Dating and Relationships

"I can't wait to make her enjoy the day and eat some stuff." — Juan Pablo

"I need him to see me as a panda in a room full of brown bears." — Sharleen

"If we can jump off a bridge together, we can pretty much get through anything." — Chelsie

"I want a man who wants to be rubbed by me." — Amy

"Juan Pablo is incredibly sexy. He's definitely someone I would chase down in the streets." — Kat

On Sexual Attraction

"You know when a baby giraffe is born and they have those wobbly legs? It feels like that, ya know?" — Clare

"I feel like I stuck my finger in the light socket. It's been a long time since I felt like this." — Nikki

"I was happy to take my top off as always." — Lucy

On Math

"On a scale of one to 10, I'm a level 15." — Nikki

On Precipitation

"I look up, and it's snowing. I don't know where the snow is coming from, but it's snowing." — Christy

On Conversation Starters

"Does anyone wear any jewelry that you wear all the time?" — Chelsie

On the Meaning of Life

"I'm gonna straddle him every day. 'Cause that's what life is about. Straddling people and things." — Victoria

"I either live or I die or I poop my pants." — Nikki

"It's always been my lifelong dream to go swimming in a warm ocean." — Clare

On Language

"It's not a jealousy thing. I just wish it was me." — Clare

"Bolt? What does that mean?" — Juan Pablo

"Today I gave him the hymen maneuver." — Victoria

"It's so ironic to be standing next to a geyser. Our chemistry is bursting through as well." — Andi

"I'm so excited. Words can't describe how excited I am." — Nikki

On Self-Confidence

"I mean, do I look athletic at all?" — Kelly

"I wish I was a little dumber." — Sharleen

On Compliments

"I like the words you use. Words in general. Words that you use, how you speak. So proper." — Juan Pablo

"Your eye is like a huge, huge eye." — Juan Pablo

On Insults

"I know she's swallowed bigger things than that." — Kelly

Image Source: ABC
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