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Marriage Myths

5 Unhealthy Marriage Myths You Should Never Believe

Marriage is rewarded with gifts, tax breaks, and shared health insurance. The pooling of resources makes it easier to rent a nicer apartment, buy a house, and even travel. Directly and indirectly, we are told marriage will make you happy, but will it? A happy marriage does a lot for health, wealth, and personal fulfillment. One study found that marriage is as stabilizing as earning over $100,000 a year and the health equivalent of quitting smoking, but an unhappy marriage undoes all that and then some. Here are five myths that can challenge even the most promising marriages.

  1. Love is all you need: While it's certainly a prerequisite, it won't get you much farther than the altar. Communication, shared values, tolerance, realistic expectations, commitment, and kindness are just a few requirements for a good marriage.
  2. You complete each other: Complementing each other is definitely a benefit of a good relationship, but expecting another person to make up your shortcomings is an unrealistic expectation.
  3. You share everything: Sharing may be caring, but sharing everything is unrealistic, too. What will be shared and what will be kept separate is different for every couple. Telling yourself otherwise just creates another problem.
  4. Babies bring you closer: Babies definitely make parents forever entwined, but several studies show the birth of a first child often pushes people apart. I'd say the worst loneliness is one felt in a relationship, because it contradicts everything we expect to feel.
  5. Everything will fall into place with Mr. or Mrs. Right: How often have you heard of people breaking up because "it shouldn't be so hard"? While there may be some truth to that, expecting a relationship to run on autopilot if it's right removes all responsibility from the only two people who can make it work.

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French-Kiss French-Kiss 6 years
Yeah i agree with all this. Sharing everythiong is not possible XD I don't mean to have big secrets, but like a secret garden, a place (not especially something material) where to be on your own... To me it's liked to independance, i like to be independant (i mean, compared to depending on a boyfriend) and to have something juste on my own would help not to feel jailed on a relationship. And for the babies... Yeah life's way harder when you have one, the couple needs to be strong ! But it's frightens me, before i was like "heay i'll have many kids, i love them, even if i'm a single mother" but more and more i turn like a Cary Bradshow (without the fashion look xD) and i'm thinking "life will be so hard with babies, i won't have time to be myself" that kinda things...
French-Kiss French-Kiss 6 years
Yeah i agree with all this. Sharing everythiong is not possible XD I don't mean to have big secrets, but like a secret garden, a place (not especially something material) where to be on your own... To me it's liked to independance, i like to be independant (i mean, compared to depending on a boyfriend) and to have something juste on my own would help not to feel jailed on a relationship. And for the babies... Yeah life's way harder when you have one, the couple needs to be strong ! But it's frightens me, before i was like "heay i'll have many kids, i love them, even if i'm a single mother" but more and more i turn like a Cary Bradshow (without the fashion look xD) and i'm thinking "life will be so hard with babies, i won't have time to be myself" that kinda things...
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 6 years
I would agree with everything, except for #5. As far as a romantic relationship (and a friendship, too, for that matter), it is smooth sailing for the most part when the "right" people are involved with each other. I think strife occurs when there's incompatibility. JMHO.
chloe-bella chloe-bella 6 years
SKG - That article is enlightening! I have to admit, I thought crazy racist/sexist/weirdly conservative commenters were unique to St. Louis (you should see the comments on our online newspaper), so I'm actually a little comforted by the fact that they're a problem all over the United States!
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