How'd Sally Draper Survive?! The Biggest Mad Men Parenting Fails

Updated on 4/3/2015 at 11:15 AM

If Betty Draper were a parent today, we have a feeling she'd get more than a few visits from Child Protective Services. From verbal abuse to physical altercations to an utter lack of interest in her kids, she certainly isn't in the running for mother of the year, even by that era's standards.

We'd like to give 1950s parents the benefit of the doubt that they didn't know any better when it came to smoking while pregnant, but for that generation's sake, we hope Betty's other parenting techniques (some of which included "go watch TV, "go upstairs," "go to your rooms," and, quite succinctly, "go away") were just terrible exceptions to the rule.

We'll let you be the judge. Avert your children's eyes, reader. You're about to see how parenting was done, Mad Men style.

Promote Independent Play

Interacting with children is overrated.

Clean Up After Yourself

Parks are God's trash cans.

Lead by Example

Though, to her credit, she did employ the whole "better you do it in front of me than behind my back," which has its own merits, right?

Stop Progressive Thinking Before It Starts

Boys don't want to marry feminists, dear.

Explore the Great Outdoors

Even if you're inside the car! Even if you're too young to drive!

Eat a Well-Balanced Diet

Candy is certainly one of the main food groups.

Discipline Fairly

A bad haircut definitely deserves a slap to the face.

Respect Other People's Things

Sally isn't getting punished for wearing a plastic garment bag over her head and giving her poor mother a fright that she'd suffocate. No, she's getting punished for throwing Betty's dry cleaning on the floor.

Encourage a Healthy Body Image

It's also a good thing Betty got Sally to stop taking dance lessons, because "it's so horrible to put girls that fat in a leotard."

Be Less Boring

A biting rebuttal to the classic "I'm bored" sentiment. You know, actually, Betty, that's not half bad.