The Most Hilarious Parts of President Obama's White House Correspondents' Dinner Speech
At the last White House Correspondents' Dinner speech of his administration, President Obama didn't hold back one bit. He cracked jokes about Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, getting high and getting old, and meeting Prince George in his bathrobe. He also got a little emotional, saying, "But standing here, I can't help but be reflective, a little sentimental." The most memorable part came when he ended with, "I have just two more words to say: Obama out," and literally dropped the mic.
On getting old:
"Eight years ago, I was a young man, full of idealism and vigor. And look at me now: I am gray, grizzled, just counting down the days till my death panel."
"Meanwhile, Michelle has not aged a day. The only way you can date her in photos is by looking at me. Take a look."
On meeting Prince George:
"Last week, Prince George showed up to our meeting in his bathrobe. That was a slap in the face, a clear breach of protocol."
On his high poll numbers:
"The last time I was this high, I was trying to decide on my major."
"And here's the thing: I haven't really done anything differently. So it's odd — even my aides can't explain the rising poll numbers. What has changed, nobody can figure it out. "
Talking to Bernie Sanders:
"I am hurt, though, Bernie, that you've been distancing yourself a little from me. I mean, that's just not something you do to your comrade."
On Hillary Clinton:
"I do apologize for being a little late tonight — I was running on CPT, which stands for 'jokes white people should not make,'" he said, referring to the cringeworthy joke Clinton and Bill de Blasio made. (CPT often refers to "colored people's time.")
"Next year, someone else will be standing at this spot, and it's anyone's guess who she will be." (He said that knowing well that Bernie Sanders was in attendance.)
"Hillary trying to appeal to young voters is like your aunt who just joined Facebook: did you get my poke?"
"If this material works well, I'm going to use it at Goldman Sachs next year."
On staying in DC after his presidency is over:
"As for me and Michelle, we've decided to stay in DC for a couple more years . . . This way, our youngest daughter can finish up high school, Michelle can stay closer to her plot of carrots. She's already making plans to see them every day."
On Spotlight winning best picture:
"As you know, Spotlight is a film, a movie about investigative journalists with the resources and the autonomy to chase down the truth and hold the powerful accountable. Best fantasy film since Star Wars."
On Donald Trump's absence:
"You've got a room full of reporters, celebrities, cameras, and he says no? Is this dinner too tacky for The Donald? What could he possibly be doing instead? Is he at home, eating a Trump Steak, tweeting out insults to Angela Merkel? What's he doing?"
Check out more moments from the White House Correspondents' Dinner here.