I was born in 1995, so nostalgia for the final decade of the last millennium evades me. While I am, by definition, a "'90s baby," I relate more to the mid-aughts. (I'm convinced that society reached its peak in 2007, and if you don't believe me, just remember all the Summer bangers that came out that year). I've been immune to the recent nostalgia-driven trends of late, such as scrunchies and frosted tips. But there's one hair tool straight out of Wayne's World that I'm obsessed with. Ladies and gentlemen, it is 2017 and we have artificial intelligence and robot personal assistants, but to me, hair technology cannot get better than my Bed Head crimper.
OK, so it's actually called the Bed Head Wave Artist Deep Waver ($20), but rather than giving me run-of-the-mill beach curls, this heat tool stamps my strands in that vintage, zigzag pattern. More than that, it fluffs up my tragically straight hair. After trying just about every buzzy hair treatment, curl, and texture spray out there, nothing was giving me the sandy, '70s beach waves I desired — until I found this crimper. Now, even when I wake up with limp and lifeless hair, a mere 30 minutes with my crimper is all it takes for me to walk down the street as if I'm starring in my own Pantene commercial (look out, Selena Gomez).
While a '90s baby does not live inside my soul, a lazy girl does, so the fact that this easy-to-grasp heat tool works faster than my conventional curling wand does is one of the main reasons I get out of bed in the morning. Part of my job involves working from home early in the morning, which I do in tandem with getting ready. Since one of my hands is on my keyboard, that leaves just one to do my hair with.
Luckily, since this crimper can clamp down on multiple sections of hair at a time — quite a few more than your standard one-inch wand — I am able to do my job and look good. It doesn't exactly shatter the glass ceiling or anything, but extra points to Bed Head for catering to on-the-go women.
Now, even when I wake up with limp and lifeless hair, just a mere 30 minutes with my crimper is all it takes for me to walk down the street as if I'm starring in my own Pantene commercial (look out, Selena Gomez)
After using the crimper, if my hair looks too crunchy, I just run a comb through it to soften things up. That leaves me with a halo-esque crown of hair that apparently looks deceptively natural. On my first day of having crimped hair, I had a meeting with a pro hairstylist who I'd never met before. When describing a dry shampoo that was made to add volume, she put her hands through my strands and said, "I can tell you have curly hair, so you don't need a lot of this." I couldn't believe I'd successfully fooled an expert with a $20 heat tool made for cool eighth graders from 1997.
I don't usually take the time to braid my hair or play around with updos, but if I did, I'm sure those styles would look gorgeous on my crimped hair. I'm currently obsessed with this braided rainbow crown by stylist Roxie Jane Hunt, which looks like how a unicorn does boho hair. The texture of the crimping brings this updo to a whole new level of mesmerizing.
Even on my nonrainbow hair, the crimper gives my strands that extra, effortless oomph that previously evaded my styling efforts. I've found that crimping my hair isn't just an "I tried it" '90s throwback experiment, it's an actual solution to my flat hair woes.
I don't know why people stopped crimping their hair, but I think it's the second greatest cultural tragedy of the '90s (first is the abrupt cancellation of My So-Called Life, obviously). If you are stuck in a flat hair rut and in need of some expert tszuj-ing, look no further than this $20 Bed Head crimper. I'm so sure it works wonders that I'm willing to bet my Beanie Baby collection on it.
Image Source: Bill Westmoreland for Artis