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"Tenderoni is my pal Ezra's signature color: an opaque taupe brown with a touch of warmth. Head to toe, he channels a 1970s white hipster version of Ice T. Although his favorite tune is the original version of "99 Problems" (pre-Jay Z), he refers to his boo as "tenderoni." It’s also 2014, and his grandparents own The Beverly Hunt Club. I hope he never changes."