Gwyneth Paltrow's Ridiculous Moments

When She Talked About Negativity Changing the Structure of Water

Not only could we not relate, but we were also extremely confused when she declared on Goop: "I am fascinated by the growing science behind the energy of consciousness and its effects on matter. I have long had Dr. Emoto's coffee-table book on how negativity changes the structure of water, how the molecules behave differently depending on the words or music being expressed around it."

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When She Worked Out on a Yacht

Image Source: FameFlynet

Because when we go yachting, we just like to relax.

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When She Dissed the Met Gala

Image Source: Getty / Jennifer Graylock

She told USA Today in 2013, "I'm never going again. It was so un-fun. It was boiling. It was too crowded. I did not enjoy it at all." OK, Gwyneth — we'll take your ticket next time!

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When She Went on Vacation With Chris Martin — After They Broke Up

Image Source: FameFlynet

We are so not that civilized.

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When She Revealed That She Steam Cleans Her Vagina

Image Source: Getty / Jon Kopaloff

She shared on Goop that the Mugwort V-Steam is her favorite treatment at a Korean Spa in LA.

We'll stick with the facial, thanks!

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When She Called a Woodburning Oven an Investment

Image Source: Getty / Jon Kopaloff

She wrote in My Father's Daughter that she has "a woodburning pizza oven in the garden — a luxury, I know, but it's one of the best investments I've ever made."

Right, so we thought investing was for a 401(k).

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When Her Kids Referred to Jay Z as "Uncle"

Image Source: Twitter user GwynethPaltrow

Who has an uncle that cool?!

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When She Said She's "Incredibly Close to the Common Woman"

Image Source: Getty / Jason Kempin

Gwyneth told CNNMoney in 2015 that she is close to the "common woman" because she is "a woman and a mother" and "we all are in a physical body with beating hearts and compassion and love."

Guess it depends on your definition of common?

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When She Said She'd Suffer Through a Seven-Day Detox With Us

Image Source: Twitter user GweynethPaltrow

Let's be serious, no one actually makes it to the end of those things. And any version of "suffering" that includes a private chef is not actual suffering.

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When She Told Us "Every Woman" Has Time to Work Out

Image Source: Getty / James Devaney

Apparently you can even do it with a baby in your room. "You just make it work!"

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When She Said: "I Am Who I Am. I Can't Pretend to Be Somebody Who Makes $25,000 a Year"

Image Source: Getty / Craig Barritt

Oh, Gwyneth.

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When She Tried Really Hard to Be Relatable

Image Source: Getty / GVK/Bauer-Griffin

In 2011, she told USA Today, "I'm just a normal mother with the same struggles as any other mother who's trying to do everything at once and trying to be a wife and maintain a relationship. There's absolutely nothing perfect about my life, but I just try hard."

But you're not normal. You're just not. (And that's part of why we love you!)

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When She Stayed in an Airbnb That Cost $40,000 Per Week

Image Source: Instagram user gwynethpaltrow

When Gwyneth decided to go on vacation in Mexico with her kids and boyfriend Brad Falchuk, she didn't stay in any old hotel. Instead, she rented a beachfront villa that goes for a whopping $40,000 per week (same) (haha, JK). As if that wasn't jaw-dropping enough, she booked a $40 million villa for her trip to Cannes a few months later.

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When She Babysat Blue Ivy Carter

Babysitting your friend's daughter? Normal. Babysitting Beyoncé's daughter? Um . . . not so much. The Goop founder regularly arranges play dates for Blue and Apple, and even watched Blue while Beyoncé was busy slaying her halftime performance at the Super Bowl in February 2016.

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When She Snagged a Home Fit For Italian Royalty

Image Source: Getty / David M. Benett

In August 2016, the actress paid a hefty $4.9 million for a Venice-inspired home in Santa Barbara, CA. No big deal, right?

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