The Wackiest and Most Wonderful Lines From the SAG Awards

"'I don't know him personally, but I'm glad you got a job.'" — On what her dad said when she told him she would be in a movie with Brad Pitt

"To my mother who is here, the hottest date in town." — Thanking his mom for accompanying him

"When I was invited to the SAG Awards, I literally wept with joy, then I caught my reflection in the mirror and thought, hmm, 'You look quite interesting when you cry.'" — On why he's an actor

"I don't feel at all saggy, I feel quite perky." — Referencing the implications of SAG

"I know most of you have read my book, Acting: How to Do It Good." — Teaching the room how to act

"Matthew McConaughey spoke about Neptune, I think I can have five seconds." — Demanding more time for her acceptance speech