The Best Jokes You Missed If You Didn't Watch the SAG Awards

"I've written so many great acceptance speeches that I've never gotten to give. To my fellow nominees . . . ah, forget it, you lost." — William H. Macy, being a humble winner

"All I ever wanted to be was Scarlett O'Hara . . . oh well." — Jennifer Aniston, admitting she'll never be her Gone With the Wind hero

"Mark's a no-show!" — Jared Leto, calling out winner Mark Ruffalo for not coming to the show

"I wish we could just get some cozy slippers, a box of See's nuts and chews, and just watch all of our work." — Frances McDormand

"And any actor worth 700 lamb skin jimmy hats rolled down on wilted carrots floating in the air free of the soil just fleeing in your face and you know you're asleep and it's the same damn recurring dream knows that the truth leads to greatness." — Andy Samberg, making little to no sense at all