Warning: Spoilers AND vivid descriptions of Halloween's horrors ahead!
There's a reason the new Halloween reboot is rated R. The film (which is technically just an alternative sequel to the original 1978 film) really is a tribute to the original in so many ways. And one of these ways is by making it a tried and true slasher film. There are no frills and no hesitations: Michael simply wreaks havoc on the small town of Haddonfield, and he's killing people left and right. In fact, he has a pretty astounding kill count this time around. Wondering if you can stomach all the blood and gore in this latest grisly addition to the canon? We've decided to break down each and every death that goes down during the film. Warning: there are a lot, and they are not pretty.
- Tiny Dancer: We can imagine Michael offs a few police officers as he escapes the bus, but the first victim we see him attack is actually a poor preteen boy who just wants to be a dancer. Michael strangles him and slams his head against the car window a few times before snapping his neck.
- Gas Station Cashier: After two podcasters come to the prison to talk to Michael, he happens upon them at the cemetery where his sister has been laid to rest. He follows them to a gas station, where he first attacks the attendant and rips out all his teeth. We don't see it happen, but the aftermath is pretty shocking.
- Mechanic: Obviously, Michael needs his old uniform, so he kills the mechanic and steals his jumpsuit. We don't see how the mechanic dies, but it looks like a pretty nasty head wound.
- The Podcasters: Michael begins terrorizing the female podcaster in the women's restroom; he shakes the stall door, then drops the cashier's teeth over the top. Enter male podcaster, who Michael grabs and slams into the wall repeatedly. First, he smashes his head against the bathroom wall a half a dozen times, then he hits it against the stall that contains the female podcaster. Next, he strangles the female podcaster, pulling her off the ground so that she's frantically kicking her feet, and snaps her neck. Whew.
- Older Woman: After retrieving his mask from the podcasters' trunk, he heads into town on Halloween night. He walks directly into one woman's house, steals her big butcher knife, grabs her by the hair, and stabs her straight through the neck.
- Old Lady: Michael moves into another house. He grabs a hammer and bashes some poor old woman's brains out. Luckily, we don't see it happen, but we do hear the sickening sounds of her brain turning to mush.
- Babysitter (Vicky): Early on, we meet the friends of Laurie Strode's granddaughter, Allyson. Vicky is kind of like the hot cheerleader type, and on Halloween night, she's babysitting a little boy. Michael finds his way into the house, hiding in said little boy's closet. When Vicky comes up to inspect the situation, he pops out and gets into a tussle with her. As she tries to crawl away, he slowly drags her back in and stabs her over and over.
- The Boyfriend (Dave): Vicky's boyfriend is over when Michael attacks, but he's no match for the scary serial killer. We don't see it happen, but Michael impales him, pinning him against the wall with a knife.
- The Sidekick (Oscar): When Oscar and Allyson take a "shortcut" through a neighbor's backyard, they come face to face with Michael. He stabs Oscar in the back multiple times, then impales him on the neighbor's spiky cast-iron fence.
- Dr. Sartain: By far the most gruesome death in the movie. Michael knocks him on his back, then stomps on his head, causing it to explode into a million tiny, bloody pieces.
- The Police Officers: Positioned outside of Laurie's house in the final act of the movie, these two officers are arguing about sandwiches when they sense that something's very wrong. Michael kills them (we don't see how), then hollows all the guts out of their heads, like they're jack-o'-lanterns. With their police-issued flashlights shining through the flesh, it's a pretty horrific sight.
- Son-in-Law: The last onscreen death is Laurie's son-in-law, who hears something outside Laurie's house and goes to investigate. Michael creeps up behind him, strangles him with a rope, and snaps his neck. Later, he shows up when Laurie's searching the house; he's been stuffed into the top shelf of an upstairs closet.
Whew. That's it. If you think reading through it is bad, wait until you witness them firsthand.