True Detective Season 2 Review
Everything This Season of True Detective Made You Feel
Image Source: HBO
Maybe our expectations were just too high. The first season of True Detective (after, admittedly, a warmup period) was one of the best shows of 2014, with Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson delivering a dramatic gold mine, so our hopes were up there. And season two started off with potential, with a lot of excitement because of the promising cast, and when the premiere hit, it was, like, OK, there are some interesting questions here. But from pretty much the beginning, season two became the hate-watch of 2015, with viewers tuning in only to take to social media each Sunday to complain that they were underwhelmed and over this season (well, no complaints about this, anyway). It's been such a shared experience that I've pinpointed how it has felt every step of the way to watch True Detective season two.
When the First Moody Previews Aired
Image Source: NBC
Then When the First Episode Premiered and You Were, Like, OK, There Is Stuff Here
Image Source: NBC
Like Taylor Kitsch's Butt . . .
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The Acting Seems Like It's Good . . .
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Ray Promising to Do Gnarly Things to a Suburban Dad . . .
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And Then Episode Two Came On, Answering No Questions
Image Source: Columbia Pictures
Then Ray Gets Shot at the End of Episode Two
Image Source: Sony Pictures
And You're, Like, I Misjudged This Show. This Show Takes Risks
Image Source: Comedy Central
But Then He's Alive in Episode Three
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And More Characters and Questions Are Introduced
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While No Questions Get Answered
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And Everything on the Show Makes You Mad
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Like Every Time Vince Vaughn's Character and His Wife Have a Conversation
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When Any Scene Ends
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After 99 Percent of the Conversations
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Every Time You Do Understand a Sentence but Actually Listen to the Words
Image Source: Comedy Central
You Wonder Why You're Still Doing This to Yourself Every Week
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You Argue With Yourself Each Sunday About Watching It
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And Have to Self-Medicate
Image Source: Comedy Central
And Then You See Taylor Kitsch's Face
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But Then You're, Like, Wait, Am I Even Invested in These Characters?
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And They Expect You to Care About Vince Vaughn's Character and His Wife Making a Baby
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Or That Chad Is Not Ray's Kid
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And It's, Like, Am I Supposed to Care If Taylor Kitsch's Character Is Gay?
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Then There's That Crazy Shoot-Out at the End of Episode Four
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And Then Someone Named Stan Dies and We Are Supposed to Feel
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But You Remember That You Stopped Caring
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While They Keep Finding Weird Crime Scenes That Lead to Nothing
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And You Realize They Are Still Trying to Solve Ben Caspere's Murder
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Then They Shoehorn an Aggressive Orgy Scene in For Drama
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You Think Maybe You Might Care If Colin Farrell and Rachel McAdams's Characters Get Together
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But You Just Can't Anymore
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And Then They Kill Taylor Kitsch's Character
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But Then Rachel McAdams and Colin Farrell DO Get It On
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And You're, Like, I Guess I Should Keep Watching?
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There's Only the Finale Left
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So You Tune In For the Final Episode, Hoping It Will All Make Sense
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At Least Caspere's Murderer Is Revealed and Stuff
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But Ray and Ani and Frank Don't Run After, Like, 17 Chances to Just Run
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And Then Vince Vaughn Dies RIGHT Before He Gets to Safety
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Then Ray Knows He's Being Tailed and Then Gets Himself Capped
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So It's, Like, Ray's Dead, Frank's Dead, Ani Is Alone, and the Bad Guys Win
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But the Show Gets in a Last Cliché With Ani and Ray's Child
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When Does Game of Thrones Come Back?
Image Source: Getty
