17 Ways Disney World Isn't So Magical For Parents

There is no way around it: the happiest place on earth also feels like the priciest place on earth.

Like I said, you will spend a small fortune.

Speaking of lines, did you know there is only one Starbucks in the Magic Kingdom? Just one! And finding a to-go cup of coffee elsewhere is not as easy as it sounds. This means if you are an exhausted parent trying to getting pumped up for the long day ahead, you've got one shot to get your coffee on — but you better really want it, because that line is no joke.

Oh dear lord. Not only do you need to score a spot to park your stroller, but you also need to find it when you get back from your ride (because 99 percent of the time, it will be relocated in your absence). And don't even get me started on the way some people use their strollers as battering rams while rushing through the happiest place on earth.

You know how in most situations people will walk on the right side of a path, let others go first, hold doors for strangers, and give a little personal space? Yeah, at Disney World, not so much. It is every dreamer for himself as soon as you walk through those gates. We actually had a guy jump over one of our strollers to avoid going around us.

. . . And it's usually when you were next in line after already waiting for 40 minutes. Cue toddler meltdown.

Literally everything. Bathrooms, monorails, any ride, guest services, buying something at the gift shop, dole whips, etc. You name it, you will wait in a line for it. Which is awesome, because most kids are superpatient, right?

Someone dropped the ball when planning for seating around the parks, because unless you want to sit on the ground (which we always end up doing) or in the boiling-hot sun, you're pretty much SOL.

Like, a lot. From toys to mouse ears to candy, the temptations for your children at Disney World are literally everywhere you turn. By the end of the day, when your kids start to ask you something, you'll probably just end up blurting out "no" before even hearing what they have to say.

I do appreciate the kid-friendly fare at every establishment (and the fact that Disney is absolutely ah-mazing with food allergies), but my kids face a harsh reality once we get home, because ice cream is no longer an option at breakfast.

For my kids, it wasn't a ride; it was the Indiana Jones Stunt Spectacular. We told them there was nothing scary about it at all — and totally forgot about the explosions, guns, and dead people everywhere. They were both terrified, and they cried the entire time. Fail.

My daughter spent a good majority of the time asking me if each character was, in fact, the real so-and-so. I didn't want to lie to her, but I also didn't want to spoil the magic, so the struggle was real. My answer, most of the time, was a simple question response: "Well, honey, do you think she's real?"

If your child wants to meet the Frozen sisters, then unless you somehow scored a Fast Pass online (which is pretty hard to do, by the way), you're going to need to wait in a very, very, very long line. I don't understand . . . Why doesn't Disney just add another set of sisters somewhere else in the park?

I was pretty excited, as this was our first trip with Magic Bands, but let me tell you: I'm less excited now. Not only did we seem to have issues with ours every time we had to touch our bands to something, but also, my small children insisted on wearing theirs but were always dropping or misplacing them. And long gone are the days of just grabbing a Fast Pass when the line is too long — Fast Passes are now well calculated 60 days in advance online.

So you might think, "Hey, let's let the kids run around a little bit and hit up a play area like the Honey, I Shrunk the Kids Movie Set Adventure." And then you get there and it's more crowded than the park. It's more like "Honey, where the h*ll are the kids?" Every parent is looking for at least one child, and it's a total madhouse.

I'm not saying who or where or why, but someone or, if you're lucky, all of you will get sick. Extra magic points if someone vomits while still at a park.