I think I just watched and listened to one of the most powerful conversations in my life... This man right here. His ability to connect, and to speak from the heart ❤️ Open & honestly... I fell in love with him before we had our girls, but moments like this make me fall even more in love with him... We connect on this level; and my heart explodes when he connects to his girls like this... 💥 ❤️ No yelling. No screaming. Talking. Discussing emotions and why we have such feelings. HEALTHY outlets (walking, running, punching a pillow, etc)... Getting down to the root of the problem. Setting boundaries, because feelings were upset. RESPECTING boundaries, to ensure it doesn't occur again... Parenting which neither of us had growing up. Listening ears as little ones speak. Knowing you are still loved no matter what. Knowing you are enough, always... Our goals as parents are to ensure they do not endure what we did as children... I am so blessed, and so thankful to have this man as my other half. Our girls are blessed to have him as their father. Thank you Randy Gaines for being you ❤️😘😍💍💑👨👩👧👧🌟 P.S. I'm posting this without his permission, but I think this is an important video! 🙃😬 I'm not going for a walk, he's taking the kids on a walk, giving me space to do school work * Jukin Media Verified * Find this video and others like it by visiting https://www.jukinmedia.com/licensing/view/978407 For licensing / permission to use, please email licensing(at)jukinmedia(dot)com.Posted by Deceena Gaines on Saturday, December 2, 2017
When Randy Gaines's daughter became upset over something he said to her, he sat down the girl to explain emotions, healthy outlets for anger, and why it's best to let your feelings out rather than hold them in. Witnessing what his wife, Deceena, says was "one of the most powerful conversations in [her] life," she whipped out her phone to record the rest of the father-daughter chat that is now making its rounds on the internet.
In the video, Randy can be seen telling his girl that she "doesn't always have to be happy," silly, or funny, but "the important thing is, whenever you're feeling [emotions like] this . . . you want to accept it, you want to honor it, you want to acknowledge it, and then let it go." He goes on to tell her that even when she feels upset, it's OK — that she's still loved and she's allowed to be mad, but she shouldn't hang onto those feelings "for too long because that's when it gets to be a problem."
While Randy starts listing healthy outlets for her emotions, such as punching a pillow, stomping, or yelling, the girl, who nods at her dad's comments up until this point, tells him, "I didn't like you calling me the name 'Miss Buttons.'" Randy then reroutes the conversation to explain that he was just teasing her and didn't mean anything by it, and sometimes the pair joke with each other and it's funny, but other times, like now, it's not.
"It's important to talk about it so that I know that's your boundary and I respect it, and I won't push past it, OK?" he says. "But you've gotta tell me first. . . . I respect you and I respect your feelings, and if it's not OK to joke with you today, I won't do it. Just let me know so that I don't do it, because if I don't know better, I can't do better."
His daughter says she doesn't feel like joking today, so Randy tells her he won't; instead, they can take a walk around the block, she can run out her anger, kick dirt — whatever she needs to do to get her emotions out and feel better in a healthy way.
"My heart explodes when he connects to his girls like this," Deceena wrote on her video post. "No yelling. No screaming. Talking. Discussing emotions and why we have such feelings. HEALTHY outlets . . . Getting down to the root of the problem. Setting boundaries, because feelings were upset. RESPECTING boundaries, to ensure it doesn't occur again. Parenting which neither of us had growing up. Listening ears as little ones speak. Knowing you are still loved no matter what. Knowing you are enough, always."