Girl Drama Starts Earlier Than You Think — Here's How to Equip Your Kid

Getting your kids to open up about anything that happens during school hours can be difficult (these tips can help), so be patient and prepared to listen when your child is ready to talk. This means putting down your phone and focusing your attention wholly on her. Once she's done talking, ask open-ended questions that will help you learn more about the situation and your child's feelings about it.

Let your child know that you hear her and understand her emotions by saying something like, "That must have really hurt your feelings" or "I bet you were really sad when they left you out." In addition, talk about some of the reasons that might cause a kid to be mean. For example, you can say things like, "She might be afraid that people won't be friends with her unless she bosses them around" or "Sometimes when people don't feel confident with themselves, they act out to feel better." Show your child that they're not the problem and can rise above the drama.

This is not the time to solve your kid's problem for her, as tempted as you might be to call the mean girls' parents or your child's teacher. In fact, doing so is likely to make things worse. Instead, talk to your child about potential solutions and let her take the lead in executing those solutions. Try role-playing scenarios to help your child get comfortable handling situations and interactions with mean girls.

Also don't force them to stay in their current group of friends if it's not working for them anymore. Groups of friends are constantly changing in elementary and middle school as kids figure out their personalities, likes and dislikes, and interests, and find others with similar traits. Let your child take the lead on finding their niche. Do talk about the qualities of being a good friend and why she should surround herself with friends who are equally good to her.

People can only make us feel as bad as we let them, so work with your child to build confidence. A high level of self esteem will help her shake off any girl drama that comes her way and seek out positive and rewarding friendships that build her up, not break her down.

It's easy for a parent to assume our children are innocent when it comes to drama with friends, but there's usually more to the situation than, "Molly was mean to me" or "Elizabeth stole my squishy." Try to get the entire story so you can explain to your daughter what role she's playing, if any, in a negative interaction. Always start with telling your child that you love them unconditionally and that everyone makes mistakes, and that taking responsibility, apologizing, and doing better in the future is the most important thing.

Whether your child is being bullied or you suspect is bullying others, now's the time to speak up. Enlist the help of your child's teacher, school counselor, or principal and the parents of the other children involved. Help your kid understand the severity of the situation (these books can help). Let your child know that you will not tolerate bullying and neither should she.