SNL's "My Little Stepchildren" Sketch Never Aired — Because It's Legit Evil

If your child is more a fan of Cruella de Vil than the 101 dalmatians or roots for the evil stepmother over that insufferable Cinderella, the writers at Saturday Night Live have come up with just the doll for them.

In a cut-for-time sketch that never aired during this past weekend's episode, a parody commercial for "My Little Stepchildren" advertises the perfect doll for those kids who don't see the point in being a "mommy" when they can be a wicked stepmother instead.

"Every Little Stepchild comes with a tiny cardboard birth certificate kids can lock inside an ornate chest of drawers," the voice-over says. "Then they can pretend to avoid questions about the doll's birth mother."

The doll comes with letters from said birth mother that can be thrown into a fire, a "big, gorgeous engagement ring" that girls and boys can menacingly reveal, and a backstory on your kid's new widower husband, Richard.

Watch the hilarious skit (featuring host Natalie Portman!) — and if you think your kid would actually like one of these dolls, it might be best that you sleep with one eye open tonight.