Solutions For Sibling Fighting

Say Something Nice

When her kids call each other nasty names, Sarina S. puts a pen in their hand. "I make them sit on the floor and look at each other for five minutes and then they have to write ten things they like about each other." Doing so reminds them why they love each other, even if they argue.

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Stick Them Together

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When siblings try to avoid each other, put them in the same room. When Carolann K.'s kids went without speaking, she wouldn't let them leave the room till they "settled their differences and could be friends for the rest of the day."

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Take Their Toys

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If you find that your children fight over objects, Gina says to take them away. "When they fight over a toy it gets put up [on the shelf]," she says. "At one point they had no toys, and once they started getting along I slowly started giving them their toys back."

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Reward Them

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Sometimes, the best way to instill good behavior is to reward children who exhibit it. Carri C. says positive points have prevented her children from fighting. "When I would see them sharing, saying nice things to each other, and so on, they would get a positive point right in the moment of the act," she says. "However, if they do start the fighting, they get one warning to stop or they get a negative point. By the end of the week, if they have more positive points than negative they each get to choose a small toy, ice cream shop, or outing with mom."

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Hug It Out

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A little contact goes a long way when Marsha O.'s children start to shout. "If they are fighting at home about nothing, I stop them and make them hug for one minute," she says. "If they are in public, and they won't stop, I make them hold hands the entire time." Doing so gives them a chance to calm down and forget about their fight.

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Let Them Yell

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Unless an argument turns physical, sometimes it's best to let kids fight.
"We would fight constantly, and my parents would just let us go," Shanna K. recalls of her and her sibling. "Five minutes into [it] we would realize that it was going nowhere and just stop and go on about our own business."

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