Why Dads Should Help With the Kids
No, You're Not "Lucky" If Your Husband Helps With the Kids — This Perfectly Describes Why
There's an antiquated stereotype that dads who help with the kids as much as moms do deserve some kind of prize. Jenny Mollen is here to provide an important reminder that that's a problem — "If your partner isn't hands on, he shouldn't have hands," she said frankly. The bestselling author and mom of two said people often ask her if she feels "lucky" that her husband, Jason Biggs, is such an involved dad. "The answer is no. I expect him to be a good father! That's why I had kids with him," Jenny wrote on Instagram.
"Nobody would ever say to a man, 'Wow, you are so lucky your wife feeds and bathes your children.' For women, it's expected to love and protect and show up for soccer practice. For men, an hour or two alone with the kids on a weekend somehow warrants a trophy. (Or at least a World's Greatest Dad mug). This double standard is antiquated and insulting. If your partner isn't hands on, he shouldn't have hands."
Preach. Moms who wholeheartedly agree voiced their praise in the comments. Another thing that many moms are tired of hearing, according to the comments: when people ask if the dad is "babysitting" the kids while she runs an errand or goes out. What?!
- "Girl yes!!!!! Or when dads say they have to 'babysit the kids' when mom needs a girls' night out. No dude."
- "My partner shuts down that nonsense. He does everything I do except breastfeed. Partners!! That's the idea right?"
- "My other favorite is when people tell me how I'm lucky my husband helps clean the house. B*tch please, he lives here and I'm not his damn mother."
- "Every so often I go to painting parties with friends and family. From time to time a particular family member will say that she can't go because her husband won't babysit for her. Ummmmmm . . . I'm confused. Babysit? They are your effing kids. My husband doesn't babysit. It's called parenting. I didn't have those kids alone."
People who've seen comedian Ali Wong's Hard Knock Wife stand-up special recalled her similar joke: "The standards for dads are so low that they get so much praise for doing so little. My husband occasionally changes diapers, and when people hear that, 'Oh my God, confetti everywhere! I cannot believe that your husband changes diapers! What a doting modern father. Lucky you!' When my baby girl was first born, I would do skin-on-skin contact every day to bond with her. She sh*t on my chest. Where's my confetti at?"