Encourage your child to verbalize their anger with "I statements" like "I feel angry when you won't let me do X," or "I feel angry when X won't play with me," etc. Verbalizing the emotion is healthy!
For parents: here are a few things I keep in mind when dealing with my kiddo when she's fuming:
- I offer empathy to how she is feeling. She may be mad I am not buying her a doll, but I empathize with how she feels. This doesn't mean I will then give in but that I acknowledge how she feels.
- Consequences must be realistic and carried through. There have been times in which I hear myself rattle off words and after think, there's no way I will stick with that consequence. I strive to always give a realistic consequence that I can carry out!
- Stepping away is sometimes a necessity . . . for parents! When a kid is lashing out it's not fun. Stepping away for your own timeout is acceptable for your sanity. Just don't leave your kid alone in a shopping mall. OK?
We all get pissed or "stewed" from time to time. Teaching our kids how to handle their ugly angry side is part of our job. Emotions don't come with a handbook!
