This b*tch will never admit defeat.
She looks perfect. Her clothing and accessories are impeccable. Her children are dressed to the nines in Vineyard Vines and Mini Boden apparel.
Her hair is perfectly coiffed and she drives a luxury SUV of some sort.
She is never rattled.
Her children’s clothing and bags are stitched with perfectly embroidered initials, and her manicure is never chipped.
She loves her husband.
She loves her Golden Retriever.
She loves your Golden Retriever.
She packs her children’s lunches in a bento box filled with fresh-picked berries and julienne vegetables. Sometimes she uses carrot shreds to spell out her child’s name on his sandwich — accompanied by a love note.
She is the room mother and offers to take your children for a playdate with a smile on her face.
When you complain or say that you are tired she looks at you with a perplexed look as though exhaustion or disgust are emotions she is unfamiliar with.
She uses social media as a weapon to remind us all that everything in her life is dreamy.
She is the reason my town is called “Goopville” because her idol is Gwyneth and she shops at Whole Foods looking for macrobiotic ingredients with fervor.
She is also the reason why we all feel unworthy and less than as mothers. She is the reason that I started this blog in the first place.
She is a liar . . .
She lies to us, to her husband and kids, and to herself.
Because we all know that nobody’s perfect.
