In advance of this day, think of five great qualities about your partner and make a point of telling them each one, no matter how small or profound. “They can be simple things like, ‘I appreciate how you always clean up the playroom’ to ‘you are the most satisfying lover I’ve ever had,’” Kim said.
But then comes the hard part: these honest displays of gratitude should then, by day’s end, lead to each of you having the safe space to open up about one thing you’ve been struggling to tell the other, such as feeling unappreciated to needing more help sharing the housework. “Employ a ‘clean as you go’ policy with communication,” Kim recommended. “It’s important to clear the air and say what’s on your mind. Otherwise, these things remain unspoken and begin to take up mental space. And everything shows up in bed, making you feel less sexually attracted. Over time, people begin to think they have a ‘low libido,’ when really, it’s just years of unhealed and unspoken resentments.”
