5 Major Differences Between Marriage in Your 20s vs. Your 30s

Updated on 6/25/2018 at 1:00 PM

My husband and I will celebrate our 10-year anniversary this Summer. We got married in our mid-20s, and to say we've learned a lot in the past decade is a massive understatement. Marriage certainly looks different today than it did back then — we have two kids, a house, and are juggling all the responsibilities we once didn't need to worry about. We don't stay out until 3 a.m., go to a concert on a whim, or have endless sex, but being together for so long isn't lame — it's just different, in a really good way. Here are five major differences between marriage in your 20s and 30s.

In Your 20s: You're More Spontaneous

It's no surprise that youth equals adventure and spontaneity. This doesn't change when you're first married. You don't have too many responsibilities yet so you're totally up for things like going to dinner, hitting up a weeknight concert, or blowing your money on a plane ticket for a weekend getaway . . . just because you can.

In Your 30s: You're, Well, Not

You're more settled in your career and marriage in your 30s, and you might not go out as much. If you don't have kids yet, you might be thinking about having them, as well as getting a house, maybe another car, or just nicer things for yourself. Instead of spending all your money on fun nights out with your partner, you both would rather stay in and watch Netflix together (and try to stay up past 9 p.m.).

In Your 20s: You're More Adventurous . . . In the Bedroom

Newlyweds in their 20s are much more likely to rendezvous between the sheets on, say, a Wednesday night or Saturday morning. Enjoy it while you can! Experiment while you still have the energy.

In Your 30s: You Sometimes Just Want to Get It Over With

It's no secret that once you've been married a handful of years, sleep trumps humping most nights. Work, kids, and life drain you in a new way. It's OK, though — you'll still be in the mood sometimes, just not every day or at the drop of a hat.

In Your 20s: You Light Fires and Do Other Romantic Stuff

Yes, when you're married in your 20s, the romance is still hot. You get flowers, cards, and have nights out together. You stay up late, sometimes just talking, because you're not responsible for anyone but each other the next morning. Be thankful for all of the little surprises and romances, because they'll likely be replaced with more mundane (but still just as sweet) gestures, like your partner emptying the dishwasher.

In Your 30s: A Good Netflix Show Will Do

Once you've been married a while, the romance can be found on the couch, under a blanket, and with a stash of snacks nearby. You'll settle in for a good Netflix show and ice cream, because it's so relaxing and comforting, and there's no need to impress anymore.

In Your 20s: You're Ready to Party

Early in a marriage, both spouses are still usually up for a late night. Your energy is pulsing through your veins. Dancing? Sure. Concert? Absolutely. Soak it up now.

In Your 30s: The Idea of a Late Night Exhausts You

In your 30s, your bed calls your name instead of your friends. Just listen to it, and go to sleep. After a long day with the kids, a job, and making that casserole, you're too tired anyway — and you know it.

In Your 20s: Sometimes Your Communication Is a Bit Rocky

When you're a newlywed, sometimes your communication is foggy at best. You're still getting used to each other and how you each operate. You may not listen intently, and you may fight more. But hang tight, it'll be worth it.

In Your 30s: Your Communication Turns Into Teamwork

After being married a few years and finally figuring out how your partner operates, the communication improves. You learn which battles to choose and which to ignore. And if you have kids, you'll have to become a team to conquer your new little soldiers.