How I Chose the Size of My Family
5 Families Share How They Decided How Many Kids They Wanted to Have
Why We Decided to Have 2 Kids
Over on the West Coast, it was timing and family history that decided things for Haydee Graham, 36, and her husband, Cliff, 41, of Redondo Beach, CA. With two boys — Jaden, 10, and Jordan, 3 — the Grahams called it.
According to Haydee, they decided to have a second child because they felt their oldest son needed a sibling. Cliff, however, shared a different perspective. "Jaden was six when we decided to try for another baby," Cliff said. "I'll never forget the day when Haydee said to me, 'I'm ready to have another kid.' She came home and said that Jaden didn't want to kiss her in front of his friends when he got to school. She thought she was losing her baby, so she wanted to have a second one." Haydee laughed at Cliff telling that story — she didn't disagree.
"After Jordan, we thought of having a third baby," Cliff said, but the risk of twins (twins run in his family) was enough to keep them from trying. Plus, a third newborn means extra effort, and the Grahams weren't ready to start sleepless nights and endless feedings all over again.
Both Haydee and Cliff felt like they had gained more perspective on what it takes to bring a new baby home than they had when they were just starting out. "I think when you're younger, you're a little bit more free-spirited," Cliff said. "You kind of throw your hands up in the air before you make decisions. You kind of wait until you're already in it and then maybe you might be like, 'Ah, maybe I bit off a little bit more than I can chew,'" Cliff said.
"With two, we're constantly playing 'tag, you're it,' and I can't imagine doing that with more kids," Haydee said.
