Y'all, be honest — how much do you love Paula Deen? Is $9.99/month or $95.88/year worth it to access The Paula Deen Network in its entirety? Nonsubscribers can view all of the recipes and ratings for free, but do you need to spend 10 bucks to watch Paula basically be a caricature of herself? Do you care to hear Paula's infamous cackle on repeat? Or her various pronunciations of butter (buh-tur, bud-der, budd-ah)? Despite Paula's diabetes diagnosis, do you yearn to watch her make Velveeta mac and fried chicken on a new show called Sinful Mondays amidst a crowd of visibly overweight people? How does it make you feel to hear her say, "Listen, I don't give a skip a hip what I put in this. 'Cause you know what? This is all about sinning . . . I just don't care, 'cause I just want this to taste good?"
If cooking's not your thing, is the subscription worth it so you can watch Paula's game shows? How about What Did Paula Deen Just Put in My Mouth?, where Paula shoves spoonfuls of mysterious foods in strangers' mouths so they can hopefully win a Paula Deen Signature wooden salt and pepper box? Maybe you're more interested in Paula Uncut, where she's completely no-holds-barred about her relationships and preferences? Does that give you a better impression of her Southern values? How about her sons, who dress up in wigs and flirt with pregnant women? Sure the website's shocking, open, and all-on-the-table, and with 4.4 million Facebook followers, people are obviously charmed and entertained by the feel-good butter queen, but are you?