80+ Pumpkin Spice Products, Ranked From Worst to Best

No; just no. Pinnacle Pumpkin Pie Vodka ($15) tastes exactly as you imagine, which is to say: cloying sweet and artificial. It might make for a good gag gift, but beyond that we just can't recommend its purchase.

Photo: Anna Monette Roberts

Ciao Bella Pumpkin Sea Salt Caramel ($7) had the potential to be so good, yet it let us down in a major way. First off, the caramel is all on the bottom. Womp womp. As for pumpkin: the company earns one point for using real pumpkin bits but minus three for it tasting really grainy and squash-like. Plus, the ice cream itself is icy as if it’s freezer burned.

Photo: Anna Monette Roberts

As kefir fans, we really wanted to like Lifeway Kefir Pumpkin Spice ($5 for a 4-pack) but were put off by its unpalatably sour flavor, which just didn't jibe with the mild dose of spices.

Photo: Anna Monette Roberts

Waxy in texture and potpourri-like in flavor, everything about these Hershey's Kisses Pumpkin Spice ($3) made us grimace. Stick to original Kisses if you know what's good for you.

Photo: Anna Monette Roberts

Sadly, Third Street Festivus Chai ($5) is full of sugar and spice but isn't so nice. While not out-and-out offensive, we wish it tasted more like tea, as a bit of bitterness would round the flavor out nicely.

Photo: Nicole Perry

We consider Kennebunkport Brewing Company Pumpkin Ale ($1) a bridge between beer and cider, as it's somewhat sweet and has a tame finish. The beer noticeably blasts you with pumpkin spice scent and flavor due to natural flavor added into the finished ale. Yep, that's what gives it the seasonal touch. We'd expect that in snacks but added to beer just seems sacrilegious.

Photo: Anna Monette Roberts

There's no doubt Shock Top Pumpkin Wheat Ale ($8 for four) contains pumpkin, from its funky, gourd scent to the starchy-sweet flavor. However, the lack of spices and the sharp finish knock it back a few stars. We'd sip this at a party, but it's not our go-to autumnal beer.

Photo: Anna Monette Roberts

Trader Joe's Pumpkin Nut Loaf Pastry ($3) is a bit more floury in flavor than we'd prefer, but a generous smattering of crunchy nuts save it from mediocrity. If you do try it, a trip to the toaster and a pat of butter would round out a slice nicely.

Photo: Nicole Perry

Clif Bar Spiced Pumpkin Pie ($2) is basically just like the Clif carrot cake bar but with a pumpkin aftertaste. In terms of deliciousness, we give it a "meh," but we might pack a bar while hiking or camping.

Photo: Anna Monette Roberts

Trader Joe’s Pumpkin O’s ($3) taste and look sort of like Apple Jacks. They are deliciously sweet but not very pumpkin-y or spicy.

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Chances are, Shipyard Smashed Pumpkin ($8) is not what you expect; while it brings a high alcohol content to the table (at nine percent alcohol by volume), it tastes undeniably girlie with a sweet pumpkin finish.

Photo: Anna Monette Roberts

Those who can't jump aboard the Starbucks pumpkin spice latte bandwagon can still enjoy the syrupy goodness in a cup of Tazo Chai Pumpkin Spice Latte ($3). Our only complaints? It's so sugary, it'll make your teeth hurt, and we can't really distinguish it from Tazo's regular chai tea concentrate.

Photo: Anna Monette Roberts

Don't expect bold pumpkin flavor from Pumpkin Spice M&M's ($3 for 10 ounces). These are more like M&M's with a dash of cinnamon spice, almost like a Mexican hot chocolate. We like them, but they just don't bring home the pumpkin.

Photo: Nicole Perry

365 Pumpkin Pie Cheesecake Sandwich Cookies ($4) smell like a combination of pumpkin pie and Betty Crocker tub icing. The cookies themselves taste similar to graham crackers, while the icing has a slight tartness, thanks to the cream cheese powder and yogurt powder. All in all, these aren't bad. We'd enjoy them with hot coffee or a chai latte.

Photo: Anna Monette Roberts

Sorry Starbucks, but Lucerne Farms Pumpkin Pecan Coffee Creamer ($4) has you beat. Thick and creamy, albeit very sweet, it’s a great solution for people looking to add autumnal flair to their coffee.

Photo: Anna Monette Roberts

Despite the sugar overload of Quaker Pumpkin Spice Instant Oatmeal ($7), it still has a pumpkin flavor and almost milky texture that can’t be beat. We’re apt to cut the sugar by mixing half a packet of the pumpkin with Quaker’s unsweetened original oats.

Photo: Anna Monette Roberts

Talenti Gelato Pumpkin Pie ($5) knocked us over the head with its nutmeg flavor but makes up for that with a really creamy texture. We’d eat and enjoy this at a friend’s house, but it’s not our preferred pint of the season.

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Malty and dark, with savory notes that remind us of soy sauce, Samuel Adams Harvest Pumpkin Beer ($8 for 6) is mild on the spice (it's most apparent on the nose) yet still screams Fall.

Photo: Anna Monette Roberts

While the pastry and frosting are the most prominent flavors in the Frosted Pumpkin Pie Pop-Tarts ($3), there's still a hefty dose of cinnamon spice in the filling with just a teeny touch of pumpkin. These are a nostalgic indulgence that '90s children will particularly appreciate.

Photo: Nicole Perry

Most people think sweet and malty when it comes to pumpkin ale, but not Uinta Brewing Company’s Punk’n ($10). Hoppy, bitter, earthy, and dare we say savory, this take on pumpkin ale is worth exploring with your tastebuds.

Photo: Anna Monette Roberts

If you like Ghirardelli's classic caramel squares, you'll be similarly smitten with Ghirardelli Pumpkin Spice Caramel Squares ($16), as these taste near identical, save for a subtle pumpkin spice aftertaste.

Photo: Anna Monette Roberts

If you're into supersweet oatmeal then you'll love McCann's Pumpkin Pecan With Vietnamese Cinnamon Irish Oatmeal ($9). It definitely boasts a lovely pumpkin-cinnamon flavor, and the toasted pecan pieces offer a nice crunch to the thick oats.

Photo: Anna Monette Roberts

Despite being a strong beer (it clocks in at eight and a half percent alcohol), Samuel Adams Fat Jack ($6) is surprisingly easy drinking. Rather than delivering a knock-you-out boozy kick, it warms you gently, while bringing a concentrated, slightly syrupy pumpkin flavor to each sip.

Photo: Anna Monette Roberts

Made with pumpkin flour (whatever that means), Trader Joe's Pumpkin Bagels ($2) aren't for bagel snobs, but they are still fluffy with just a dash of pumpkin flavor, especially since they contain little pockets of pumpkin spice.

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Buffalo Bill's America's Original Pumpkin Ale ($8 for a six-pack) is an amber-style ale brewed with fresh roasted pumpkins, cinnamon, cloves, and nutmeg. Though the pumpkin and spices are subtle on the nose and palate, many tasters consider this a coveted thing. With a full body and slightly bitter finish, it's a beer we'd like to drink throughout the Fall.

Photo: Anna Monette Roberts

'Tis the season for adult pumpkin spice lattes, and the easiest way to make that happen is with Kahlúa Pumpkin Spice ($21). The sweet concoction definitely hits you with a blast of seasonal flavor without being too boozy. Coffee will never be the same.

Photo: Anna Monette Roberts

Even the creamer averse can’t help but top their coffee and tea with a splash of Baileys Pumpkin Spice Coffee Creamer ($3). The secret is the pumpkin-y creamer uses real cream! Who would have thought?

Photo: Anna Monette Roberts

Light, bright, and just sweet enough, Suja Elements Call Me Pumpkin ($5) is refreshing yet cozy, and it actually tastes like pumpkin (which makes sense since the gourd is one of the main ingredients). Look for it at Whole Foods Market (it's exclusive to there).

Photo: Nicole Perry

If pumpkin beer isn't your thing, may we suggest trying Ace Hard Pumpkin Cider ($10 for a six-pack)? Despite being made with apples, it brings the pumpkin pie flavor thanks to a generous dose of warm and cozy Fall spices (allspice, cinnamon, and cloves).

Photo: Anna Monette Roberts

Found in the freezer section, Trader Joe's Pumpkin Macarons ($5) win major points for being extremely cute and emanating everything wonderful about pumpkin spices. The filling tastes exactly like pumpkin pie and the macarons act like a nutty almond crust. Can we have another . . . and another?

Photo: Anna Monette Roberts

Like an upscale, pumpkin-spiced version of Cow Tales, Williams-Sonoma Pumpkin Pie Caramels ($15) are more fudgey and less chewy in texture than your typical caramel, but we're not complaining. Buttery, not too sweet, and a little spicy, they'll win over nearly anyone with one caveat: they're missing that pop of salinity that salted-caramel-lovers might be looking for.

Photo: Anna Monette Roberts

While we wish it was a bit more moist, we're otherwise smitten with Pepperidge Farm Pumpkin Spice Swirl Bread ($4). Not terribly sweet, it tastes akin to the brand's cinnamon swirl bread with just a hint of pumpkin to differentiate the two. Toast up a slice and slather it with salted butter (or pumpkin butter, for a more-is-more treat).

Photo: Anna Monette Roberts

While some might dock Art of Tea Pumpkin Spice Chai ($11) a bit for not bringing bold pumpkin flavor, we praise its subtlety, as so many pumpkin chai blends we've tried taste artificial and just plain gross. A delicate note of gourdy, earthy-goodness rounds out the spices for a sip that's smoother and less peppery than your typical chai blend.

Photo: Nicole Perry

Open up a package of Oreo Pumpkin Spice ($4) and you're assaulted with the scent of a pumpkin spice candle. Thankfully they're worlds more delicious than a glob of wax. More pumpkin spice than actually pumpkin in flavor, they taste like Golden Oreos with a hint of cinnamon and graham cracker.

Photo: Brinton Parker

Warmly spiced, crisp, salty, and ever-so-slightly sweet, Food Should Taste Good Harvest Pumpkin Tortilla Chips ($7) would pair equally as well with a sweet snack like pumpkin pie dip as they would with guacamole.

Photo: Nicole Perry

Despite essentially being a slab of sugar and pepitas, Williams-Sonoma Spiced Pumpkin Seed Brittle ($30) isn't too sweet. Crunchy, fresh, nutty, and perfectly spiced, this toffee-like treat would be a great hostess gift.

Photo: Anna Monette Roberts

We were surprised by just how much we liked Pillsbury Ready to Bake! Pumpkin Cookies ($2). When slightly underbaked (do it!), the edges crisp up while the center stays tender and cakey. We much prefer these snickerdoodle-like cookies fresh from the oven, but that's not really a problem since the dough is already portioned, making it easy to bake off just as many cookies as you plan to devour.

Photo: Nicole Perry

If you're a tea snob, Republic of Tea Pumpkin Spice Black Tea ($12) might not be your proverbial cup of, but pretty much anyone else will appreciate its heady mix of spices and bitter tea tannins. Best served unsweetened with a splash of milk, it's a seasonal staple in our office.

Photo: Anna Monette Roberts

Shipyard Pumpkinhead ($10) smells like apple picking in Fall and has a distinct, pumpkin flavor, frothy head, light(er) body, and a slight bitterness. However, the most interesting feature is the petrol finish. Gassy may be a weird way to describe fermented beer, but think of it this way: it's a sought-after scent in Riesling wine. The brewing company recommends rimming a pint glass with cinnamon sugar, and we can’t wait to try that. This beer doesn’t taste serious. It’s good but not fussy, and we like that.

Photo: Anna Monette Roberts

Muirhead Pecan Pumpkin Butter ($7) has a tart, acidic flavor profile very similar to apple butter, except for the gourd-y aftertaste. Swirl it in oatmeal, smear it on toast, or use it in baked goods.

Photo: Anna Monette Roberts

If you love kombucha's tanginess, Timmermans Pumpkin Lambicus ($12) is likely the pumpkin brew for you. Light in alcohol (like all lambics), sweet, sour, and well spiced, it's an easy beer to love.

Photo: Anna Monette Roberts

We'll attempt to contain our excitement over Dogfish Head Punkin Ale ($11 for four). The brown ale brew has a cult following amongst hip beer drinkers and for good reason. It's a very unique rendition of pumpkin spice. The caramel scent, sweet malty flavor, delicate trace of pumpkin, and nutmeg-brown sugar finish make this almost better than pumpkin pie. Almost.

Photo: Anna Monette Roberts

For truly exceptional pumpkin beer, turn to Howe Sound Pumpkineater Imperial Pumpkin Ale ($14), a malty, chocolate-rich, strong beer with pronounced notes of barley, freshly roasted pumpkin, hops, cloves, cinnamon, nutmeg, and star anise.

Photo: Nicole Perry

We have our first five-star winner! Thomas Pumpkin Spice Bagels ($5) are everything you want in a pumpkin-spiced goodie. Made with real pumpkin and cinnamon, the bagels have visible flecks of spice and intoxicatingly delicious bits of gourd studded throughout. The scent (even when the bagels are enclosed in the bag) will waft through your kitchen in a delightful, gimme-more way. Toast a bagel up and watch your tub of cream cheese disappear at an alarming rate.

Photo: Anna Monette Roberts

If you like the idea of Starbucks's pumpkin spice latte, but you aren't too keen on how sweet it is, Califia Farms Pumpkin Spice Latte ($4) might just be the drink for you. Creamy with a gentle balance between coffee's bitter flavor and pumpkin spice, this almond-milk-based cold brew coffee tastes like if you combined pumpkin pie and eggnog, but without the sugar coma.

Photo: Nicole Perry