I'm in a Shame Spiral Because of These Trader Joe's Products

Quinoa (or, as my aunt pronounces it, corn-wah-wah) is just like rice, except that it's a lot harder to cook and tastes a lot worse, because it's better for you. So whenever I go to the store, I pick up a bag. And then I realize I hate quinoa, and never make it. And then I read some article about quinoa being good for you, and I go back to the store and buy more quinoa which I WILL NEVER EAT BECAUSE IT IS TERRIBLE.

Dante was wrong: the seventh circle of hell is ancient grains.