11 Thoughts That Could Sabotage Your Relationship

Your partner's ex is an ex for a reason. Constantly wondering how you stack up against your partner's previous lovers isn't helpful in any way, and it can cause you to take your entire relationship for granted.

It may seem obvious, but worrying that you'll ruin a relationship will probably cause you to do just that. Once we're convinced of something, whether that's positive or negative, the universe has a way of confirming exactly what we believe. If you truly believe that a relationship will go downhill before you have any real evidence, your actions might cause you to fulfill your own prophecy, which isn't fair to you or your partner.

The partner you choose should add joy to your life, but it's not their job to make sure that you are a happy person. Happiness is an inside job that a relationship should make sweeter — if you're relying on your partner to make you happy, that will eventually become too much pressure for someone who isn't you to manage.

Even couples in the healthiest relationships have disagreements, but believing that a relationship should be free of confrontation is unrealistic. The more you know about someone over time, the more you'll have to like and dislike and the quicker you can solve problems in a way that isn't hurtful, the stronger your bond will be.

Everyone can be loved, and while we may think that our requirements and expectations might put a strain on our relationships, at our core, we all just want to be cared for, heard, and understood. Most people aren't hard to love; they just need to be clear about what love means to them.

There's beauty in building a lasting bond with someone who grew up differently than you did or who has interests that differ from your own, but instead of worrying if these differences are insurmountable, remind yourself why you're together in the first place. After all, where's the fun in being with someone who is just like you? Commonality doesn't always lead to compatibility.

Comparing the progress in your relationship to that of your friends, family members, or strangers could cause you to add pressure to an otherwise peaceful pairing. Trust the timing in your relationship and remember that your timeline is yours and yours alone.

Whether there's been a breach of trust in your relationship in the past that is giving you a cause for concern or you're simply thinking preemptively, constantly thinking that your partner can't be trusted will only lead to drama and will definitely ruin your relationship. There is not relationship if there is no trust, and if these thoughts grow too loud without the two of you addressing your trust issues, it will be only a matter of time until you go your separate ways.

The person you were last week is not the person you are today. Every second, we're changing, both in ways that are obvious to us and ways that we don't really understand. To worry about why your relationship looks different now than when you started dating is to disregard the fact that you both are bringing your own personal growth to your partnership, and if you're too busy longing for the early days of your relationship, you'll miss the beautiful moments that only happen after you've been with someone for an extended period of time.

Letting your guard down in a relationship can be the toughest part of creating a bond, but unless you are willing to be vulnerable, you'll never truly form a genuine connection. There's no moving forward without letting your love get to know you.

If there's something about your partner that you don't like, it's not going to change in a real way unless they want to change it for themselves. Changing habits, traits, or any defining qualities for someone other than yourself rarely has staying power, and no amount of love for someone can make you change unless you're willing to do the work for yourself first.