Is your back door a restricted area? Here's why you should break that rule. Now prepare yourselves for some real talk. You're reading this because you're intrigued at the thought of trying out anal play, so that's a good start, considering there's a bit of a stigma around anything sexual in this particular nether region.
It's no secret that anal play has copped a rather dirty name in society, which is a real shame because this region that's often deemed strictly off-limits is actually an extremely erogenous zone! If you want to experiment with anal play and open up your sexual limitations, here's how to do it safely, cleanly, and pleasurably.
Throw your insecurities out the window.
One of the leading reasons some people are too scared to try any anal-related sexual activities is because they believe the anus is purely designed to push unwanted things out, not to have things put in it! But that's merely a matter of opinion. Why would humans have a vast number of erogenous orifices if we aren't meant to stick things in them to make us feel good? Think about that.
Try anal play with a partner you trust.
While I firmly believe that every woman should try anal play at some point in her life — whether it's purely with anal sex toys such as butt plugs or anal beads or full anal sex — it's important that your first time is with someone you can trust.
That's because the anus is a particularly sensitive and private area. You need to explore it either on your own first or with someone you can trust completely who is also keen on experimenting with this erogenous zone.
Trying out anal play with someone you trust will allow you to relax, which is how anal play is best explored. It's something you should try with someone you think is fit for the role, not just someone you met at the pub one night, as they're less likely to treat your anus with the respect it deserves!
Yes, there may be poop.
To put it bluntly, because the anus is where you poop from it means there is always a chance that some could be discharged during or after anal playtime. However, this is completely normal and not something to be embarrassed about, which is why it's important to experiment with anal play with someone you trust.
There are a few precautions you can take to help to prevent getting any unwanted brown patches on the bed after your steamy anal play session, including making sure you've cleared your bowels beforehand and ensuring that you don't need to go to the toilet before you start.
To prepare for anal play, have a thorough clean beforehand, either using warm soapy water and a cloth, or take a shower. If you're really worried about any leakage during anal play, you can invest in an anal douche, which is designed to be inserted into the anus and to squirt water into it to thoroughly clean it.
Slow and steady wins the race.
There's nothing worse than telling your partner you'll finally try anal play, only to have them plunge in there with excitement and without any initial stimulation of the area or lubricant. That's enough to put a lady off anal sex for life!
Before jumping completely on board the anal sex train, which we will refer to as the "advanced" stage of anal play for comparative reasons, try experimenting with anal play sex toys first. And when you do, it's important to always keep three things in mind when using with anal toys:
- Communication! With communication, follow the language of your body, and if someone else is doing it to you, make sure they know exactly how you are feeling.
- Lubricant. You'll need it and a lot of it!
- Relaxation. With relaxation, it's important because without being relaxed anal stimulation can feel unpleasant and painful. Tensing your sphincter while you're trying to push a butt plug into it certainly won't have the desired effect, so relax!
So now that we have the basics down, here are the best anal sex toys suited for women who are beginning to explore this pleasure zone.
Typically, anal beads are small, smooth spheres made from either silicone or plastic. They consist of a series of connected balls in graduating sizes that are designed to be inserted into the anus. Some anal beads are soft, whereas other are more firm or textured.
When using anal beads, you want to insert each bead gently one at a time into the anus using plenty of lubricant. The insertion of the anal beads does not necessarily provide much pleasure, but for women anal beads are a considered a culminating intensifier as they can prolong the pleasure of an orgasm.
At the moment of an orgasm, removing the anal beads massages the sphincter muscle as they pass through out of the anus ultimately heightening sensation. Anal beads are great for beginners as there are a range of different sizes available and you also have the choice of how many you insert at one given time.
Butt plugs are designed for comfortable anal play. Their tapered head widens out typically into a bulb shape, and then tapers at least once more before reaching a wide base. The initial tapered design helps for insertion, while the thin neck keeps the butt plug in place so that it can't slip into your body.
Butt plugs are great for two reasons. The first being that it creates more pressure on the back of the vaginal wall, increasing the level of sensation that you will experience. During an orgasm it can also intensify the sensation due to the wall between the vagina and rectum being very thin. Your partner will also be able to receive extra stimulation, due to the fullness, or especially if it is a vibrating butt plug as they will be able to enjoy the vibrations, too.
The second reason for butt plugs being so great is that they are a way for relaxing and stretching the muscles of the anus to prepare your body for anal sex. It's recommended to start with a narrower, smaller butt plug that is smooth with no ridges or bumps, then upsize and experiment with different textures as you gain more anal play experience.
Anal training kits are a great option for beginners because they usually come with two or three different-size anal toys to get you started with your collection, which is likely to grow!
When it comes to anal play for beginners, the majority of females are consumed with the fear of encountering difficulty or discomfort, and this is why lubricant is extremely important and even mandatory!
There is a huge variety of lubricants available out there, but for first-time users, it's recommended to use a lubricant specifically designed for anal with a slight numbing effect. It reduces friction and helps keep things comfortable.
If you don't like the idea of a numbing sensation, then simply go for a standard anal lubricant. Silicone lubricants are perfect for anal sex because they're long-lasting and provide a slick and silky feeling — however, silicone lubricants aren't suitable for use with silicone sex toys because the materials react together.
You get out what you put in.
Did you hear about the young woman living in the UK that got a butt plug stuck up her bum? You certainly don't want that to happen to you! And it actually happens more often than you might think. People get excited and carried away and sometimes lose the toy they're playing with. That's why it's absolutely paramount that you try anal play with someone you trust, and you invest in good-quality anal sex toys that have handles! And while you're using anal sex toys, make sure you don't let yourself get carried away and push the toy in too far.
There you have it, ladies — it's time to try out anal play! What are you waiting for?
Janelle Cheesman is a freelance writer, photographer, and sex toy expert who writes for Adulttoymegastore Australia.
Product Credit: Only Hearts onesie, Longchamp jacket, Gabriela Artigas ring, Common Muse ring