In the words of Taylor Swift, I knew this guy was going to be trouble. P worked in finance, had the kind of face that said “Yeah, I wear boating shoes . . . because I own a boat,” and didn’t seem very interested until I mentioned that I was just looking for some fun. Maybe it was because I had never dated this type before and was curious, or maybe it was because I was watching a lot of Gossip Girl at the time and wanted to play Blair Waldorf for a night, but I said yes to a date.
The date went perfectly fine. He didn’t hack me into bits Patrick Bateman style, and we even kissed goodnight. But the next day, he texted me this: “You know what I don’t like? Girls who talk about chivalry and then don’t thank a guy when he pays for all her drinks.” Horrified, I racked my brain to try and remember if I had thanked him. No one’s ever accused me of being an ingrate before — if anything I have a habit of overusing “thank you” and “sorry.” I wrote back apologizing and admitting my mistake (if it was even true). P didn’t respond for hours. The more time that went by the more indignant I felt, so I decided to stand up for myself. I texted back, “Look, if you think I’m some kind of freeloader, then you have a very wrong impression of me.” And the brosicle wrote back something completely flippant, making me feel like an idiot for being so upset all day.
The lesson here is that just like we make snap judgments about the guys we go out with, they’re going to make snap judgments about us — but that’s all they are. They don’t actually know us enough to form judgment that matters. So if they’re petty enough to call you out for something you did or didn’t do on your first date, don’t even dignify it with a second thought. Because he don’t know you like that.
