Can Your Guy's Relationship With His Mother Be a Deal-Breaker?

Updated on 8/24/2017 at 2:15 PM

Can your guy's mother seal or break the deal? Well, that depends . . . on a variety of factors. We often forget that when we marry the person, we marry the family. And how entwined or not entwined a man is with his mother can have an impact on your relationship, as much as we wish it wouldn't or won't.

Of course, each situation is different, but there are some factors to consider when you're dating a man and trying to evaluate the impact of his mother on your lives together as a couple.

Does she like you? And does it matter to him?

If he doesn't care whether or not she likes you, you're good. But if he cares very much and she's not sold on you . . . be prepared for a battle, unfortunately.

Can he think for himself?

If he can think for himself, he'll be able to deal with any gripes or issues regarding you, him, and his mom or you and his mom.

If you find he's not able to do a lot on his own without getting her word or blessing or advice . . . eek. This could be one hell of a painful relationship.

If you can be a peacemaker, it won't matter if she's hell-bent against you. Mostly.

It can be hard to deal with a mean, abusive, or even distant future mother-in-law. If you can try to be a peacemaker or avoid conflict or contact with her, your guy will appreciate that. If he can tolerate you two not being BFFs, then that's all that will matter, really.

If you let him lead the relationship with his mom, that will help.

Does your guy really want you two to click? If you don't naturally but he's able to navigate and try to get the two of you together, it shouldn't impact the relationship. If he is unable to lead and finds himself taken over by his mom, then there is a problem.

Can he speak out and tell her when to chill? Does he extend his hand to defend you?

If the answers are both in the affirmative, then you have a great man. Keep him.

Can you imagine being with this woman as an in-law indefinitely? If the answer is no . . .

You've got a large problem. And if your man seems hesitant to commit based on his mother's relationship with you, this is a big fat glaring red flag!