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Don't be needy; focus on happiness and fun. "Instead of focusing on your ex, focus on yourself. Instead of chasing your ex and possibly appearing clingy or even desperate, work on yourself," says Carolyn Cole, LCPC, LMFT, NCC to POPSUGAR. Your ex may then wonder what you are up to, especially if you are still connected on social media, and he or she sees the amazing things you are doing, she says.