I'm claiming 2022 as my year of self-love. 2021 was the year I got married. It was a beautiful, hectic whirlwind filled with adventure and new experiences. In short, it was demanding but a lot of fun. On the flip side, 2022 has been looming over me like a cloud. I went into it knowing it'd be a year of change, adjustments, and uncomfortable shifts.
Rather than sit back idly, I've decided to consciously embrace this year head-on, take charge, and view it as a positive challenge. My first step is to let go of things outside of my control and focus on what I can change — my mindset.
It's not going to happen overnight, but read on for the small adjustments I'm making right now to help me feel more confident and empowered throughout this year and beyond.
As basic as it sounds, taking care of yourself is the first step in feeling both physically and mentally strong. This encompasses all the healthy practices you've heard about a million times before (eating right, exercising regularly, getting enough sleep, staying hydrated, stepping outside for fresh air, and so on). But they're essential for a reason, and I plan on adapting (and staying consistent with!) all of them.
Healthy eating and exercising can be especially tough, but I remind myself that when I'm keeping up with my health goals, I feel more productive and satisfied in my overall life. These healthy habits will help you feel more energized too, giving you a boost of confidence when you're feeling down. Look at them as your building blocks to creating a stronger, happier you.
On that same healthy-habits note, I also need to recognize when my body needs to rest and recharge. My fellow perfectionists can probably relate. I have a tendency to push myself to the brink of exhaustion, resisting a day off when it comes to my workouts or getting down on myself when I eat unhealthy for two days in a row. Ultimately, this mindset does more harm than good and can actually undermine your positive strides.
I'm learning to take some of the pressure off myself and treat relaxation as a necessity. It's important to not only allow time for rest, but to also be genuinely OK with taking that rest. In general, when you mess up, when you veer off course, when you neglect a responsibility, train your mind to recognize what happened, learn from it, and move on. There's no need to beat yourself up about anything.
When you do mess up or things don't go your way, don't dwell on the negative. This is a hard one for me, but I'm learning that when you treat yourself kindly — even in your own head and through self-talk — you start to appreciate yourself more. It sounds cheesy, but there's truly something to it. Think of it like this: never say anything to yourself that you wouldn't say to your best friend.
When you build yourself up on the inside, it'll start to show on the outside. For example, focus on all the things you have going for yourself. Think about what makes you happy, and manifest more of those things. Recite mantras like "I am capable, and I trust myself," "Today I will laugh as often as I can," or "Today is a brand-new day, and I choose optimism."
These positive affirmations and thinking exercises help me when I'm feeling overwhelmed or when I feel I'm not in control. Try writing them down in a journal or writing them on sticky notes and placing them in convenient spots.
Standing up for yourself comes in many forms. Sometimes it's realizing you can't do it all and being OK with that. Sometimes it's making yourself a priority and putting yourself first. It can also be speaking up, knowing your worth, and not accepting anything less. When you do these things, you're respecting yourself and providing others with an example of how they should treat you.
I'm starting with the basics in learning how to say no. Being a "yes" person is great in so many ways, don't get me wrong. But while I firmly believe in the power of "yes" and the opportunities it provides, I also know there's a time and a place for the word "no." You're allowed to take charge of your life and put your foot down. You're allowed to stay in on Saturday night for no apparent reason. You're allowed to turn someone down and prioritize your own mental health. Get comfortable with expressing yourself and communicating boundaries.
As I've gotten older, I've realized that your support system is everything. And it's not about quantity, either, but rather the quality of those relationships. I believe that, ultimately, we become reflections of whom we decide to spend our time with. If you hang out with negative people who aren't ambitious, before you know it, you could be displaying some of those attributes as well.
It's been a difficult process, but I'm learning to cut myself off from not just toxic people, but also people who don't actively support me and people who simply don't make me a happier person. In the end, you'll be left with your true friends, which is invaluable.
It's not just about surrounding yourself with those who love, appreciate, and respect you. It's also about doing the same for them. I'm making it a goal this year to lift others up whenever I can — be that hype person, go out of my way to make others smile, and go the extra mile for those who need it most. As a result, I'm hoping to attract those same kinds of people in return.
