You're a Beard Burn Victim
The dilemma: Your dude is sporting some seriously sexy facial hair, but after a particularly aggressive and indulgent kiss fest, you're left with telltale beard burn all over the lower half of your face.
The solution: Quick, brew yourself a cup of green tea and then apply it to your poor skin with a cotton ball. You could also try diluted tea tree oil, witch hazel, or aloe vera — they're all antibacterial, soothing ingredients. Next, wash your face with a supergentle, moisturizing cleanser — such as Cetaphil Skin Cleanser ($10) or Cerave Foaming Facial Cleanser ($12) — and don't even think about exfoliating.
After cleansing, let your thirsty skin soak up as much moisture as possible. Whatever oils and serums you have in your bathroom cupboard is a good start. To expedite the healing process even more, apply a thin layer of hydrocortisone one percent cream twice a day for two days and it'll clear up.
PS If you anticipate any sort of makeout session with your bearded guy, you can prep in advance by wearing a thicker layer of face moisturizer before you meet up. This creates a barrier between your delicate skin and his not-so-delicate facial hair.