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Billie Lourd on The Ellen DeGeneres Show September 2017

Billie Lourd on Living Without Her Mom and Grandma: "It's Impossible to Deal With"

Billie Lourd made her first appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show on Tuesday, where she opened up about her late mother, Carrie Fisher, and grandmother, Debbie Reynolds. While the American Horror Story actress has been trying her best to keep their memories alive since their sudden deaths last December, she admitted it's still very surreal. "There's no way to really explain it, and it's so hard to talk about," she told the host. "If I say that I'm doing good, I'm too happy. If I say that I'm not doing good, then I'm a mess. It's really hard to know what to say about it because it is so surreal and impossible to deal with."

Even though their deaths were very painful, she is grateful she got to share the screen with her mother in Star Wars: The Force Awakens. "It was incredible," she said of the experience. "I'm a big believer of things happening for a reason, and I think I ended up in that movie for a reason. It was really incredible for us to get to have that experience together."

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