Jeff Goldblum Rating Tattoos of His Own Face Is Just the Laugh You Needed Today

We'll take time out of our day to watch Jeff Goldblum do pretty much anything. Whether it's a totally off-the-rails TV interview or a food truck venture, the finer-with-age actor has a way of turning every task into something hilarious (and handsome). So when he sat down with GQ to rank actual fan tattoos inspired by, well, himself, it's not exactly a surprise that it turned into a seven-minute chain of grade-A Goldblumisms such as:

• "Of course, it's a whimsical representation of the relationship that I would have with a velociraptor . . . "
• "I give it 10 Goldblums out of a possible 10 Goldblums."
• "This looks like a lady or man with a very shapely, lovely leg, and the color of skin like a freshly peeled apple."
• "What kind of limb is that? It's a fleshy, fleshy appendage."
• "The tattoo itself is a weird affair. There's much foliage."

And, most importantly, there's this gem: "I wish I were looking at that and eating a nice plate of huevos rancheros, chips and salsa, and a nice margarita." Don't we all, Jeff . . . don't we all? Do yourself a favor and give the entire tattoo-ranking session a watch above; it'll only serve to solidify your crush!