Dear Future Daughter, Make Mistakes and Learn From Them

Dear Future Daughter,

How are you? That's a question I hope the people who smother you with love will ask openly and often, but I hope, more than anything, that it's a question you ask yourself, too. I hope, when the answer that flows out of your mouth is something positive and sweet, you remember the specifics of why you feel that way. What were you doing during the moments that you felt the most empowered? Who were you wrapping your arms around when you felt suffocated by unconditional love? What song was playing in the background when you imagined the most perfect day ever? Play that song often, my darling. Play it at full volume and on repeat.

The days when the answer to that question is that you're not doing so well, I want you to remember that that's OK. It's OK to have moments when you feel down. It's OK to have moments when you just want to crawl back into bed, pull the warm sheets over your body, and cry. Cry, OK? Just remember, you are never alone. Remember the people who love you with every single ounce of their heart. Remember those people are family, friends, even people you may have just hugged hello recently. Remember that they've been through stuff, too; hard stuff, sad stuff, the kind of stuff that takes a really long time to kick to the curb. So when you're feeling like it's you against the world, don't hesitate to recruit someone to fight that fight by your side.

Please, pretty please, even on the days when you just can't imagine this to be true, remember that you are enough. That you are smart, pretty, creative, and fun enough, even if someone tries to tell you differently. Your heart will break, my dear, it will, but it will twist back together, if you believe in who you are and adore the bits and pieces that make you unique. If anyone ever tries to tell you that you don't belong or you're not a good "fit" for something, I want you to stand up straight, put your hands on your waist (like Superwoman) and repeat this: "Oh, yeah? Don't believe me, just watch!" Yes, that's a phrase directly taken from a Bruno Mars song, a singer you should turn to on both days you're feeling good and days you're feeling low. You'll find yourself dancing, I promise you that.

Prove people wrong. Prove yourself wrong. Become BFFs with failure and rejection. You'll often pass those two things in the halls of life, and when you do, don't turn the opposite direction and run away. Sulk in them. Understand them. Learn from the moments when you didn't pass the test, get that job promotion, or earn what you know you deserved. Then, go off and try again, and then again after that. Try five more times if you must. Just never, and I mean never, give up.

Stand up for yourself. Stand up for the women around you. I hope you'll live in a world where women get paid the same as men, can take control of their own reproductive rights, and not get constantly judged on how they look. But if there is still a conversation about women's rights not being equal rights, I hope you'll join in.

I hope you'll never be upset with how you look. It will get hard not to. It will feel nearly impossible, when you scroll through social media feeds or flip through magazines, not to want to change a million things about yourself or life. When you feel that way, call me. Call someone who can bring you back down to reality. Who can remind you of the long list of things you should be grateful for. Try to love all that you have, change only what you feel you must, and never compromise who you are for anyone else.

When you fall in love, remember to stand up for what you believe in. Learn to let go of people, places, and things that no longer bring you the joy you deserve. Make mistakes and shrug them off, but learn as much as you can. Talk to people who are different than you. Be kind to people you meet, and no matter what, be kind to yourself.

One more thing, my darling — have fun! When your eyes open in the morning, smile, and plot how you're going to make the hours you have count. Live life like it's an adventure that will be displayed in a scrapbook. Just go off and live, and the rest will feel easy. You are amazing.

Love always,

Your Mommy