11 Breastfeeding Surprises You Definitely Won't Expect

When they put my newborn baby girl on my breast about five minutes after we both wheeled out of the delivery room where I had my C-section, I was shocked . . . and still numb from the chest down, meaning I couldn't even feel it when she first latched on. It was one of the weirdest experiences of my life, and one that was still weird, even though I was expecting it, when I delivered my second child. I don't know if anyone feels normal nursing a baby that was literally inside your body less than an hour before.

I remember when my first close girlfriend had a baby and told a group of child-free women how she spent an hour nursing her newborn each time, and he had to eat every two hours. "Wow, that's tough," we all said. "But at least you get a two-hour break." No, she explained. The two hours started at the beginning of each feeding, cutting that break down to a mere 60 minutes. Be prepared, especially in the beginning, to feel like you're doing nothing but nursing, so find a comfy spot, invest in a great pillow and blanket, and cozy up.

A toothless newborn still has strong bones in their mouth, and it can hurt like a b*tch when they clamp down. Even if it feels mean, be sure to express pain when it occurs. A loud yelp followed by a quick detach teaches your baby that biting down isn't encouraged. Most babies learn quickly, but some, like my son, will continue to bite down for the entirety of your breastfeeding journey. Your nipples will toughen up, I promise.

Unlike a bottle's handy measuring ticks, the breast won't tell you how many ounces your baby is getting at every feeding. It can be extremely frustrating for new moms, who want nothing more than to give their babies everything they need to grow and develop. Instead, learn to rely on your baby's cues. It's a learning process, but you'll soon catch on to their signals communicating when they've had enough and when they're still hungry.

"My nipples have gotten so big that they literally won't fit in my baby's mouth," is a statement I recently heard from a new-mom friend. Yep, that just might happen. Also don't be surprised if your formerly petite boobs become megasize or if your nipples get 10 shades darker. After you're done breastfeeding, your breasts may stay larger or go back to their previous size, and while your nipples will most likely return to their former color, they might stay slightly darker and enlarged.

Breastfeeding moms of newborns have their boobs out — like a lot. So much so that sometimes it seems like staying topless is the best option. If you're hesitant about nurses, doctors, and family members seeing your breasts, now's the time to invest in a breathable nursing cover and keep it by you always.

When one of my friend's expressed milk came out green one day, she immediately tossed it, only to find out later that change in color was completely normal when she asked her doctor about it. Yes, your milk will change in color, shade, and consistency (thick in the beginning, thinner later in the feeding or pumping session), so don't be alarmed.

Breastfeeding covers and pillows, breast pumps (and all their many components), lactation cookies and tea, nipple salve, pads to prevent leakage, milk storage bags . . . our breasts may be attached to our bodies, but using them to feed our babies requires a lot of other stuff.

We've all heard enough about "pumping and dumping" to think that it's the only thing a responsible mother who's had a few drinks should do. Not true. The alcohol level in your breast milk, like your blood, decreases over time, so waiting, not pumping, is the best course of action. However, if you're having a long night on the town and have to pump because of discomfort, that boozy milk should go down the drain.

When will moms stop spreading the falsity that breastfeeding is the best weight-loss plan out there? It's simply not true. In reality, many moms biologically can't lose those last 8-10 pounds because their bodies are wired to store extra fat for the exact purpose of breastfeeding. Add a dramatically increased appetite (show me a breastfeeding mom who isn't starving!) and less time to sleep and exercise, and many moms (including lucky me) won't lose the last of the baby weight until they've totally weaned that baby.

I didn't think much about breastfeeding before I had my first baby. Then for the next 14 months, I thought about it constantly. When I needed to do it next, how long I had before my breasts started leaking, how much milk I had in the freezer . . . being so obsessed with a part of motherhood that I had barely considered before her birth was a shocker.

I've also witnessed mom friends who swore they would breastfeed as long as possible switch to bottles almost immediately because it just didn't work for them. And I've seen moms who were convinced they didn't want to breastfeed at all try it, love it, then continue for years. Basically, when it comes to breastfeeding, you never know what you're going to get, so keep an open mind.