"Can I Sit on Your Lap While You're Pooping?" Isn't Even the Funniest Thing This Little Girl Has Said
Matthew Carroll, a single dad, knows something that every parent does but won't admit.
"What do you do when you have to go to the bathroom and there's a toddler running around the house? You leave the door open, in case there's an emergency," he told POPSUGAR matter-of-factly. "But what really happens is they want to come and just hang out with you. While you're sitting there pooping."
It's moments like that, when his then-3-year-old daughter Morgan would look up at him and say something equal parts adorable and bizarre (ahem, "Can I sit on your lap while you're pooping?"), that inspired Matthew to start keeping track.
"I related to my daughter a lot more when she started talking," he said. "I think this is typical for dads. What is a baby? A cute but needy and squishy thing that wants its mom all the time. When Morgan started talking, I was fascinated by her thoughts and ideas. And being a single dad, I didn't have anybody nearby to whisper, 'Holy crap!' to whenever she said something, so I wrote them down and sent them to friends and family. Suddenly after a few years I realized I had this written record of a little person growing up."
Matthew is confident other parents won't just relate but might also be inspired to start transcribing their own kid's running commentary: "It's nothing new that kids say weird things, but it does seem interesting to track all the things a person would say at the beginning of their lives and see what kind of personality emerges."
The question on any parent's mind, however: will Morgan, now 9 years old, ever be able to forgive her clever dad? Read on to find out.
Plus, Morgan and her dad pulled a collection of some of the book's choicest quotes, and we promise you'll want to see how Morgan explains her hilarious musings about princess toothpaste, peeing in pools, and her dad's dancing abilities.