You know you're a working mom when you enter the office in a beautiful new dress and have a glaring PB and J stain or snot rocket all over the front of it. Of course, you didn't realize it because you were too busy shoving kids into a car or chasing them toward the bus stop with the hopes that somehow everyone would end up in one piece at school.
Your survival — and your new dress — was secondary.
Having office hours while caring for kiddos can get pretty complicated, even if you're miles away from them at the office. Read through for eight reasons.
1. The Outfit Conundrum
You get a great deal at Loft on new office dresses. Your child gets a great craving for cheese puffs. You walk into the office with orange stains down the front like you just exited a clown car. You took so much time to do your hair though (and by time, we mean five minutes) that you don't even recognize the hot orange streaks on your outfit. You're too pleased you're having a good hair day.
2. The Middle of the Day Preschool Event
For some reason, preschools still don't get it that those middle-of-the-day singalongs and holiday events are almost impossible for a working mom to attend. Even day cares like to hold daytime events.
The one time you ask your boss to go, you somehow have to do all your work — and, wait, your co-worker's work too — right before you go. You manage to finish all tasks before running out the door to see that adorable little Winter or Spring singalong, and then rush back to discover you sent the wrong emails to the wrong people, and worse, there are a bunch of typos, yet somehow the work you did on your lazy co-worker's behalf is perfect. Interesting irony.
3. The Snow Day
Surprise! Everyone on your team can combat 25 inches of snow and still arrive on time. Meanwhile, your kid's school is closed and none of your relatives would dare arrive to trek through the drifts to watch your child, much less a paid babysitter. Guess who looks like the office jerk?
4. You Use Mom Voice in a Meeting
Your co-workers are getting heated during a team meeting. They lock horns and get a little fresh. It's your job to keep order during the meeting, but you forget you're dealing with (somewhat mature) adults and not kids. You start to talk to the two or more offensive parties like they're headed for a time out.
You forget to use an "adult voice" and instead engage in "mom voice." Still, you wish you could put them all in a time out. At least it would be quiet for five minutes.
5. Surprise! It's a Travel Position!
When they hired you, no one mentioned travel — yet suddenly you're required to travel all the time. This causes great distress at home between you and your partner, as well as for your kids. There you are, wondering why your boss decided to nix this little important bit of info, trying to figure out how to handle the matter.
Telling your boss that traveling like this is not exactly what you agreed to is not only difficult, but also puts you in a bad position. Do you put up a fight and get fired? Or do you tell your family to deal?
6. Your Kid Texts You the Most Annoying Nonsense
In the middle of a meeting or conference, your kid is texting you repeatedly the most benign, nonemergency issues ever, like:
"Netflix isn't working! Make it work!"
"Let me tell you about my Poké-walk right this very minute. It can't wait!"
"I can't find my XYZ . . . "
Or your child asks you the most difficult of questions — usually involving buying something for them — with the hopes you will crack under pressure.
Meanwhile your co-workers are wondering why your phone keeps going off.
7. Negotiating Any Type of Appointment or School Assignment in the Middle of a Work Day
Don't you love when your kid suddenly texts you in the middle of the day that, oopsies, they forgot a science project is due tomorrow and they need you to get to the craft store and back, ASAP, after work? Or, "Oh, Mom, conferences are coming up. You need to call the teacher . . . today."
Negotiating any kind of appointment or activity, as well as hearing about "impending" — or, in kid language, DUE THE NEXT DAY — assignments while you're at work is enough to earn you frown marks. When you're considering Botox, blame your kids.
8. Bring Your Kids to Work Day Is So Much Fun. Sort Of
If you're bringing older kids to the office, you're golden unless you've got a restless or reckless kid — until, of course, they start bothering you about how they're "SO bored." Meanwhile, you wish you had time to be bored . . .
Bringing young kids to the office is really cute. Until your co-workers roll their eyes or complain about your kid's squeaky voice or frequent requests to visit them. Unless your co-workers love little kids, this Bring Your Kid to Work Day stuff is fun for about two hours.