6 Signs You're a Good Parenting Team

The golden rule in coparenting is to maintain a consistently united front with your kids, whether that comes to disciplining, nutrition, or bedtimes. If one parent, even on the rare occasion, undermines the other by allowing an extra hour on the computer with a hushed “don’t tell your father,” it can curtail any collective strides you’ve made. If you both want to alter a previously held position, that’s fine. Just do so together.

Both parents agreeing on a decision is the most important part, yes, but it doesn’t end there. If your partner is always the one instituting your shared plan, it can appear one-sided to your kids. Both should share in the role of enforcer, either by doing it together or alternating.

You won’t always see eye to eye on how to proceed with your child’s care. However you decide to compromise, just make sure that you both arrive at a solution you can live with. For some, it’s going with who feels most strongly about the course of action (for instance, your partner might say, “I don’t know if it’s right, but my gut tells me it is — can you give me a chance to do it this way?”). For others, it’s simply recounting who got their way last time and switching it up.

Sometimes no amount of discussion will get you both to agree on something. Unless it’s time sensitive, put a pin in it. Plenty of parenting decisions don’t need to be made overnight. Take the time to research your options, consult with your child’s teacher or pediatrician when relevant, and process your partner’s feelings on the matter before bringing it up again.

Those four little words can do a lot of damage when it comes to any argument, but it can be especially hurtful when it involves a parenting decision. You are both learning as you go, so even if you were right, bite your tongue. Eventually, you’ll be wrong, and you’ll appreciate the same understanding from your partner.

Disciplining your child can be emotionally exhausting. Even if the situation isn’t a happy one (you didn’t let him go to a sleepover because he didn’t clean his room), quietly applaud your shared ability to tackle it as a team. When you can toast to a small victory over a glass of wine, it will make the next problem, when it inevitably arises, feel less daunting.