How to Raise a Well-Mannered Child

1 Be a Role Model — at All Times

Children are amazing imitators and model after you. If you want your kid to be polite to both adults and peers alike, you need to demonstrate this respectful behavior at all times — not just when interacting with your children. While it's important to say please and thank you to your little ones, they'll also pick up on the unkind attitude towards spouses, traffic, and those annoying neighbors.

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2 Teach Them How They Should Act

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Sometimes your little one unintentionally demonstrates less-than-desirable behavior simply because they don't know that something is perceived as rude. Be sure to point out good behaviors and correct bad manners even in informal settings. Don't let these impolite actions get overlooked because of the busy hassle of everyday life and use games or books to highlight expected manners. Tip: roleplaying with dolls is a great learning tool to teach and spark a discussion about what is socially acceptable.

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3 Don't Underestimate the Power of Family Meals

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While it's no surprise that family dinners are important for a well-balanced child, they are also a prime place to model good manners and demonstrate mature etiquette. “Sit down as a family often,” Lisa Taylor Richey, president of the American Academy of Etiquette advises. “This is where your child not only learns table manners, but conversation skills — as well as your values.”

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4 Don't Only Respond to the Bad

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If you want to raise a well-behaved child, be sure to pay as much attention to the good behavior as you do to the bad. Praise the good by pointing out desirable actions so your little one knows when they are doing well and can start taking pride in their manners. If you give them positive consequences and reinforcement for their good behavior (and not only for the bad!), they won't just act out for attention.

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5 Turn Positive Actions Into a Habit

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Be consistent with your praise and penalties for good manners so that children begin adapting these behaviors into their daily routines and personalities without having to exert much effort. However, it is essential to explain to your kid the importance and meaning behind polite manners so that their actions are authentic. “Good manners are not limited to saying please and thank you,” Cape Town psychologist Abraham le Roux said. “Said without feeling, these can be empty words. How often do we say thank you to the person at the supermarket checkout, without even thinking. It has simply become a habit. Rather we should teach children how to show genuine appreciation to people who give or share something with them."

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6 Appreciate Their Differences

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Part of teaching good manners is showcasing respect. Explain to your children how to appreciate and love everybody's differences. They might call out the old man's nose hairs as an observation but teaching kids how to appreciate everyone's unique qualities will only enhance their good manners. Also be sure to explain the difference between making judgments and observations. Little ones can be taught at a very young age about how repeating things that aren’t nice is just as bad and how words are one of the most powerful tools they have.

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